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More than a few of us get into a funk during the holidays. Some people can’t stand the commercialization, crowds and the loss of traditional childhood rituals. Every year I have the same bad attitude with the same causal factors. I start thinking about deceased loved ones and poor people who don’t have nearly as much as we have. I can’t help it. It is like someone pulled a switch and my negative thought patterns kick in.
Fortunately, this year a few experiences changed my mood. First, my grandmother, who has been deceased for over twenty years, sensed my dismay and asked if I wanted to go for a walk. When I was younger and when she was alive, she would ask me if I wanted something to eat when I was out of sorts. Maybe they don’t have kitchens in heaven. In my imagination, I saw Josephine, in her usual garb, a house dress that she wore when she cooked. Yes, it had the extensive tomato sauce stains and the smell of garlic was very noticeable. For some unknown reason, I was dressed in my summer white Navy uniform. We walked down a long dusty road in the warm sunshine. She didn’t say much but just being there with her spirit made me happy.
The second positive or uplifting experience came when I played piano during an annual fundraiser for Joseph’s House at the Franklin Plaza in Troy. “Joseph’s House provides emergency shelter or support services to an average of 1000 men, women and children yearly. Central to Joseph’s House mission is to provide non-judgmental services to end homelessness.”
With all the wonderful activities going on during this event it was difficult to realize that the focus of the event was services for the homeless until the executive director Kevin O’Connor spoke. His first phrase was, “There is no room at the Inn.” In the nativity story, when Joseph and Mary arrived in Bethlehem there was no room in an inn so Mary ended up giving birth to Jesus in a stable. Kevin followed with startling statistics on homelessness nationwide, success stories and closed with the Einstein quote, “The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive.” Those words stuck with me and helped me get out of myself.
When I was a kid, I recall that going to the movies made me happy. My wife, Kyra, and I went to see the animated film, Coco. I haven’t seen an animated film since my kids were young. I suggested it because,the trailer that we saw, had a lot of great Latin music. The story, about the emotional challenges of a young Mexican boy, was uplifting, touching and wildly creative. It was the first time in a while that I felt that I wasn’t hustled by and overpriced film.
Finally, a tragic event two weeks before Christmas, presented
“The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive.” Those words stuck with me and helped me get out of myself.
me with an uplifting message. The last of my father’s five brothers died. Uncle Larry was a magnificent teacher, community leader, husband and parent. After the church service and burial at the veteran cemetery, family members and friends ate and drank at the local Knights of Columbus in Saratoga. Just before I left for home, I stopped to say goodbye to some of Uncle Larry’s immediate family. Uncle Larry’s son, Larry Jr. gave me a hug and said. “He is now with his mother who he hasn’t seen since he was 13 years old.” I have heard all the comforting words over the years about angels, heaven and the glorious afterlife but these words seemed to be the most meaningful for me at this time.
Thanks to all who have unknowingly helped me get out of my “bah humbug” mood.
Merry Christmas. John Ostwald is professor emeritus of psychology at Hudson Valley Community College in Troy. Email him at jrostwald33@gmail.com.