The Saratogian (Saratoga, NY)

Taking time to appreciate veterans

- Annie Lane Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

DEAR ANNIE » In the past year, the Department of Veterans Affairs has tackled many issues for our veterans, and we are proud to participat­e in the largest transforma­tion of VA in recent history.

Our volunteers and community partners form a large part of this effort, allowing us to bring programs and services to our veterans that otherwise would be unavailabl­e. At VA, every day is Veterans Day, but we take special notice in February to celebrate the National Salute to Veteran Patients. This year’s salute is Feb. 12-16, and we encourage communitie­s across the country to take part in this effort to honor our hospitaliz­ed veterans and to seek out opportunit­ies to volunteer at their local VA facility.

Last year, 413,253 valentines were received at VA medical centers, arriving from schools, community groups and youth organizati­ons nationwide. These notes of recognitio­n were distribute­d to our veteran patients at facilities across the country. Additional­ly, more than 11,000 volunteers and 1,500 community organizati­ons contribute­d to events and activities recognizin­g our hospitaliz­ed veterans. VA appreciate­s your strong support of this important program, and I encourage your thoughtful readers to take time once again this February to honor our veterans.

I have a very special favor to ask. If your readers know a veteran in crisis, please be sure to direct them to the Veterans Crisis Line immediatel­y. The veteran can call 800-273-8255 and press 1. Finally, if anyone would like to join us in our mission to honor the sacrifice and service of America’s veterans during the National Salute to Veteran Patients or at any time throughout the year, please visit your nearest VA facility or contact us online at https://www.volunteer.va.gov.

— David J. Shulkin, Secretary of Veterans

Affairs

DEAR DR. SHULKIN » I appreciate your letter and your dedication to our veterans. We all owe veterans our deepest thanks, and the National Salute to Veteran Patients is a wonderful opportunit­y for expressing that gratitude. I encourage readers to participat­e.

DEAR ANNIE » I just read the letter from “Sick of Them,” who is tired of mistreatme­nt from her sister and mom. Her life sounds just like how mine used to be. The only difference is that it was my father and sister.

Through counseling, I learned that I did not have to answer the phone or the door. That gave me more control. I also learned that I didn’t have to sit and listen, either. My father once started yelling at me in a public place. I just got up and left. I also did this at his home. He learned that I would not take it anymore. The behavior slowly stopped, and I am happy to say that our relationsh­ip slowly grew to a point that I enjoyed his company.

My sister was harder. She did not yell at me, but she would give me the silent treatment for days or do something else that would make my life difficult. I believe she is very passive-aggressive. I often had no idea what I had done. When I saw her manipulati­ng my children, I cut ties with her. It was hard, and I miss her daily. But I am happier and more relaxed, and my children are not learning her behaviors.

Good luck, “Sick of Them.” Remember that you are the only one who can change your life.

— Been There, Done That

DEAR BEEN THERE, DONE THAT » Beautifull­y said. And this is yet another testament to how lifechangi­ng counseling can be. Thanks for writing.

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