ADVICE Old and discarded
DEAR ANNIE » I am a 72-year-old married (for now) man. I was just told by my wife that she wants a divorce because I am no fun. We’ve been married for almost 50 years. Apparently, she has been planning this for quite some time. She got a face-lift, wants liposuction, etc. She goes out dancing and has been working out.
This activity has been precipitated because I have been reacting to some of my meds and have a tumor in my right kidney. I have been slowed down by bad hips and knees and a bad back from sports as a youth. She has also said that seeing as she is turning 70, she doesn’t have much time. Who does?
Apparently, she forgot who waited on her hand and foot after her facelift (when she spent three days in bed), broken leg (when I spent six weeks carrying her around) and auto accident (when she was bedridden at home for three weeks). I never considered it a burden.
She doesn’t want to RV in our 40-foot bus anymore because I have to go to the bathroom every two hours. I interrupt the driving. I enjoyed the trips around the country. So did she.
I don’t do drugs, drink a lot or cheat. She has cheated in the past, which wasn’t so bad as the lying about it. We have done well in life and are well-off. I am disappointed in her selfishness.
Evidently, assisting her mother during her dad’s messy and prolonged death several years ago established a “not me” attitude for her future. Well, excuse me for getting old. I have tried hard to mend perceived issues and overcome fabricated slights. My list of her offenses is pretty substantial, too. I think the river has run its course. Should I flee or fight to stay? — Discarded in Sarasota
DEAR DISCARDED » It takes two to fight, and right now it sounds as if your wife is pretty clear that she wants to flee with her divorce request. The death of her father and turning 70 really had an impact on her. I understand your being short with her because you are so angry and hurt by her actions. But the reality is that you sound like a great husband, and there are millions of women who would give anything to have a husband like you. If you found one, your free bird of a wife might realize this and turn around. If not, remember that you deserve love and happiness, and if your wife insists on divorce, then find it with someone else.
DEAR ANNIE » As a pharmacist, I would like to help clarify the need for the use of milliliters versus U.S. customary units.
A milliliter is an exact measurement. A teaspoon or a tablespoon in a utensil set can have a large disparity in volume compared with that of a measuring spoon. Therefore, it is expected that someone using a teaspoon or tablespoon measurement would give more or less than the prescribed amount, leading to over- or under-dosing — dangerous in either case.
I have worked in retail pharmacy in three different states. The pharmacies have had complimentary dosing spoons to make the measurements accurate. Customers should always ask for a spoon rather than convert. — Caring for the Customer
DEAR CARING FOR THE CUSTOMER » Thank you for sharing and for caring.
It takes two to fight, and right now it sounds as if your wife is pretty clear that she wants to flee with her divorce request.