Lessons from a dog

DEAR ANNIE » I wrote this list after saying goodbye to my beloved dog, Capra, and thought you might share it with readers.

10 Things My Dog Taught Me

10) There is great beauty in the quiet stillness. Let it envelop you.

9) Sniff it. Touch it. Feel it. Taste it. Hear it. Engage all your senses in the world around you.

8) Plunge in. You can always get out and shake it off.

7) Don’t be afraid. Just stand your ground. And bark loudly when truly necessary — especially if a big ol’ bear is in your backyard.

6) Trust that most people have an innate goodness.

5) Forgive fully — and let it go.

4) Love is truly unconditional. If it has conditions, it isn’t really love.

3) Accept the inevitable with peace and grace — even while the vet is taking your temperature.

2) It’s OK to feel sadness, but remember that joy is just a squirrel chase away.

And the No. 1 thing my dog taught me: Live in the moment. Embrace it. Feel it. Become it. Share it. Then repeat for the next moment and all the moments that follow. Life is not about the quantity of moments; it’s about appreciating the quality of moments. — Dana Riley DEAR DANA » Thank you so much for sharing this letter. Man could stand to learn a lot from his best friend. May Capra rest in peace. DEAR ANNIE » I have read your column for quite some time, but I didn’t think I would ever write to you. My question is about etiquette.

Is it right to invite someone to a social gathering and then disinvite the person? My significant other invited everyone at a party to our home for a party a few weeks later without consulting me. I was upset and told my significant other so. My significant other got angry and disinvited everyone (without telling me) the next day. The only reason I found out is that I was speaking to someone about what she could bring. That’s when she told me that it had been called off. This is not the first time, and now I am afraid to open my mouth. Should I go ahead and re-invite everyone?

— Afraid to Speak Up DEAR AFRAID TO SPEAK UP » Is it wrong to disinvite people from a party? Yes. Should you re-invite all your friends? At this point, that might give them whiplash. Let the idea rest for now, and perhaps aim to have a get-together in the near future — one that you and your partner plan together from the outset. And that touches on the bigger issue here, which is not etiquette but communication. You both need to figure out what’s getting in the way of your communicating honestly and openly. If fear of each other’s anger or disappointment is preventing you two from sharing your feelings, soon there won’t be much left to discuss.

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http:// www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

Let the idea rest for now, and perhaps aim to have a gettogether in the near future — one that you and your partner plan together from the outset. And that touches on the bigger issue here, which is not etiquette but communication.