When do helpers need help?
The title of the retreat was, “Warrior and Rescuer Wellbeing and Spirituality: A Retreat on Living Well for Active Military, Veterans and First Responders”. The site was the remote Indralaya Retreat Center on Orcas Island, in the San Juan Islands of Washington State. This setting on Puget Sound was stunning. From the ferry, on the last leg of our trip there, we could see snow covered mountains embraced by green trees and low-hanging billowy clouds. It was an idyllic setting where discussions of trauma and tragedies where followed by comprehensive strategies of healing and resilience.
I didn’t really know what to expect despite having attended several conferences and retreats over the past thirty years. This activity was organized by Dr. Edward Tick, Director of Soldier’s Heart and his colleague, Dr. John Becknell, a psychologist/consultant who works with first responder organizations across the country. The group of participants was very diverse in every way. There were police officers, firefighters, paramedics, veterans, psychologists, authors, chaplains, a priest, college professors, and even a few musicians; twenty-seven men and seven women. Dr. Tick said, “All our attendees were carefully selected. Everyone has given service either as veteran, first responder, or both. Everyone is in leadership in their communities, bringing healing and giving further service. Everyone is able to carry their trauma exposure with wisdom and without collapse.”
The women were strong but did not project the “in your face” false images of strength seen by men and women on TV and in the movies. It was clear that they possessed real strength based on integrity, discipline and compassion. Many of the men had backgrounds that included experiences in dangerous and sometime life threatening situations, yet they also shared this subdued strength and not the popular “macho psychotic” personas of movie stars.
A few days after the retreat, I asked a few participants to evaluate the experience. West Point graduate, author and resilience trainer Glenn R. Schiraldi said, “The retreat reminded me that we are all the same at heart. Though we may wear different uniforms or badges, drop the armor and we all want the same things—to be happy and peaceful inside, and to make the world a better place. At the core, military and first responders have the same fears, hopes, and dreams as everyone else.”
Jennifer Casale, graduate student, Soldier’s Heart volunteer/ veteran advocate, said, “Our 1st responders need our support just as much as our veterans. Our law enforcement, much like our vets are feeling the judgment and disconnect of the very communities they protect. Rituals are necessary for them to detach from the traumatic residuals of the job, and conversations with civilians and veterans are important in supporting our first responders and the moral injury they tend to carry alone.”
Miguel Rivera, Director, Western Gate Roots and Wings Foundation, stated,
“The retreat was a gathering of men and women in service to life. All trying to get a better understanding of the discrepancies imbedded in our culture and how they affect our daily life. A place where we cultivated a deep sense of nobility and explored different approaches to solving the problems encountered by the various professionals present. Not creating a quick perfunctory commonality, but by sharing and combining resources working in different modalities, we can contribute to the wellbeing of others without depleting ourselves.”
Before one of the workshops, a facilitator posed this question, “Is it possible to run to danger and still live a good life?” The answer to this question is yes. Dr. Schiraldi said, “We need to change our training approaches, starting with our schools and continuing through: basic training; police, fire, and service academies.” Such training should be largely preventive in nature, with a large dose of wisdom and courage to heal from the unique challenges facing military and first responders.
Thirty-four adults spent days and nights together and shared valuable information, personal perspectives, music, and even some humor. It was an intimate experience. John Ostwald is professor emeritus of psychology at Hudson Valley Community College in Troy. Email him at jrostwald33@gmail.com.