When your oncologist retires
People retire all the time from a variety of jobs – carpenters, teachers, cops, bartenders, etc. It is often a complex process to plan life after full-time work. I retired over three years ago after teaching for over thirty years. I remember very well figuring out my health coverage, change in income, future volunteer work, etc.
I received a letter the other day that my oncologist was retiring as of June 1st. First, I was somewhat stunned because, although I have only known him for six months, I look at him as a link between life and death. It is not just a normal retirement.
We first met in November. I knew then he was no kid. Probably in his sixties. He was clear and to the point. He let us know that I had a serious, life-threatening disease. During the medical explanation about the biology of the pancreas and aggressiveness of the pathological cells, the question about how much time I had to live reared its ugly head. I really don’t remember how it came up or who brought it up – him, me, or my wife. He said that he would respond only if I approved. I declined because I didn’t care how bad the statistics are; I had my own timetable based on my battle plan of prayer, exercise, diet, and seeking emotional support from friends and family members.
As you might imagine over the past six or so months we developed what I perceive as an odd but meaningful relationship. He knows so much about me because it is necessary and I know very little about him because it is not necessary. Aside from his expertise, the only thing I have to know is that he cares for me as a struggling human being who needs his help. He never said this to me, but I have felt it very strongly especially during times when we looked at my recent PET scan results.
It is not that often that you hear someone really talk about how much they like their work. During one of our last meetings, he said, “I have been doing this for over forty years and have been working with some of the bravest people imaginable.” He was referring to his patients.
Shortly after I received the retirement letter, I began my plans to search for a new oncologist. Should I stay with his practice and see his partner or should I go to a completely new practice? I asked my current oncologist for recommendations. I also contacted a local respected researcher for her input and I went online a lot to check out many doctors and their credentials.
Over a few weeks, I narrowed down my search to two very experienced women locally who had very impressive backgrounds in cancer care. After I sent them all my medical data, I put together a list of pertinent questions and scheduled my interview appointments. After the lengthy appointments, I made a decision to go with the doctor who had more pancreatic cancer experience.
When you read this, I will have already begun my weekly chemotherapy sessions at a local hospital. I am looking forward to the new challenge and developing a relationship with the cancer doc.
P.S. My 94-year old WW II Army veteran mom and I will have a display set up Saturday, July 13th at the Beat Shop in Troy, from 11 am-2 pm to draw attention to the disease of pancreatic cancer for PanCan.org. I’ll play piano and she will dance. It will be fun. Please stop by to say hello!
John Ostwald is professor emeritus of psychology at Hudson Valley Community College in Troy. Email him at jrostwald33@gmail.com.