Fade to Gray: Not Charlie Brown’s Halloween

I love this time of the year with the leaves turning and being raked into big piles, bowls of Kit Kat bars popping up at work and Linus heading out to the pumpkin patch hoping this year will be different and the Great Pumpkin will rise. Halloween is fun. It always has been and I thought I’d be OK saying it always will be but I’m not so sure anymore. We live in a culture of fear where everyone worries about offending even one person so you have to look at the costumes you might put on your children or you yourself might wear to a party and think, “Is there any chance this will come back to bite me?”

There are some costumes which are obviously offensive, those are easy to avoid but what about the old standards? You want to be a cowboy?

I don’t know, if you look at the history of the west some of those cowboys did some not so nice things out on the range. How about a princess? Hmm, I’m not so sure, it sounds a bit elitist to me. By today’s cultural standards even Cinderella is not a hero in that fairytale your godmother read to you all those years ago.

Think about it, the pretty girl with the glass slipper gets the prince and all the fancy prizes while the ugly step-sisters get turned away? Not very nice.

I’m being a bit facetious of course but trust me when I tell you the Halloween of your youth is gone. Over on the shores of Lake Michigan, just north of Chicago, is a tiny town called Evanston and the elementary school there has cancelled Halloween.

I can tell by that look on your face you think I’m kidding because sometimes I’m a kidder. Nope, not this time. Lincoln Elementary school in Evanston will not be celebrating or recognizing Halloween in any way, shape or form this year because they don’t want to offend families that either don’t celebrate Halloween or just think it’s a stupid holiday.

Lincoln school Principal Michelle Cooney said, “While we recognize that Halloween is a fun tradition for many families, it is not a holiday that is celebrated by all members of our school community and for various reasons. We are focused on creating inclusive environments for all.”

So by that standard if every single child and family doesn’t care about something then Lincoln won’t be doing it anymore right? Christmas decorations should be history then along with Valentine’s hearts on the walls in February and any bunny ears popping up around

Easter. Some people think groundhogs are just glorified rats without meteorology degrees so having fun with “Groundhog Day” is out too.

To quote Charlie Brown, “Good grief.”

Are we really this delicate that the sight of something that doesn’t interest us instantly offends us? I thought that was the fun part of this whole melting pot we call a country. I’m Irish but I remember one of my kids learning how to make authentic Mexican food on Cinco de Mayo and loving it.

How many parents reading this right now have fond memories of going to your child’s school on Halloween morning and watching your little ones march around in a circle in the parking lot dressed up like Star Wars heroes and Disney characters?

Is it crazy to think the answer isn’t to ban Halloween at this elementary school in Illinois but to find a way to include all the children and, dare I suggest, get them to have some fun?

Understand I’m not one of these Halloween nuts who turns his front yard into a virtual graveyard and leaves fake severed body parts in the mail box to spook my postal carrier.

I enjoy the odd horror movie in October and when my kids were younger I had fun taking them around the neighborhood to collect Snickers bars but by November first I was happy to see the corn stalks in the trash just like most people. I just think this desire blot out every tradition because one person might not like it is silly.

Since I’m on the topic of Halloween this week let me end with something more positive; a list of my favorite scary movies. For my money The Exorcist is still one of the most frightening films I’ve ever seen, despite the special effects that are now cheesy by today’s standards. John Carpenter’s Halloween is fantastic as is The Omen and The Conjuring and the lesser known 30 Days of Night.

But for pure fun if you told me I could only watch one movie this time of year I’d go with The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. Don Knotts isn’t scary but he sure does make me laugh.

I hope you have an enjoyable Halloween next week and I hope if you have little ones in your family they get all their favorite candy trick-or-treating. There is so much serious stuff in this world robbing our kids of their childhood. I hope their school doesn’t take this away too. We can be inclusive and laugh at the same time.