All about the Benjamins

A few years a song came out and declared that life was, quoting now, “All about the Benjamins.”

Benjamin, mind you, is not a person but money, specifically the hundred-dollar bill with Benjamin Franklin on the front. He’s one of my favorite historical figures, very versatile, having discovered electricity with his kite, founded the country and invented his own paint. Although, as memory serves, that might have been a different Benjamin with the paint line.

So why am I waxing philosophically over old Ben with his glasses and crazy hair? Because I’ve reminded time and time again that when politicians tell you something is about one thing, it almost always is about another,; and that “other” is usually money.

I’ve written before in this space that I think is unconstitutional to charge two different people different prices for the same product. In fact, I thought we had laws against that, but obviously that does not apply to the roads. Right now, if you get on the thruway at exit 24 going west and get off the first exit, which puts you on 890, and your wife drives her car right next to you, the one who doesn’t have EZ-Pass has to pay more.

Same stretch of road, same day, same weather, different price.

I’ve argued that I understand why people love having an EZ-Pass and I understand the knuckleheads like me who refuse to get one. I don’t like my credit card number being in yet another data base, I don’t want the white ugly plastic thing on my dashboard, and I don’t need yet one more way for people to track my movements.

I’ve also said I understand that if someone doesn’t have an EZ-Pass and that requires the state to mail out a bill, it is more than fair to charge a modest maintenance fee for the worker who has to handle that. I get it, I swear I do. My issue is the toll itself, two people using the same road should be charged the same. I’m convince if someone had the time and brass to file a lawsuit and took it to the Supreme Court, they’d win.

I got a painful reminder of how much the state wants me to buckle under and buy the damn EZ-Pass this week when I got my first bill under the new system. Three times my wife and I drove in the same car to Schenectady in the last month. Instead of being able to hand a toll collector my 30 seconds for each trip, I got a bill for the tolls and a handling fee. The bill told me I was paying an extra .22 cents because I refuse to get EZ-Pass.

But that wasn’t the painful part.

Down below the two bucks I owed, was a big red TOLL VIOLATION stamp. It showed that when I drove to New York City last February, right before the pandemic, I missed a toll somewhere. The toll I missed was only a couple of bucks, but they were slapping me with a $50 fee to clear up the old debt. Here’s my issue.

I was never notified I missed any toll. NYS never sent me a bill or letter, no tap on the shoulder saying, “Hey we know you are a guy who pays his bills, and we knew you’d want to know about this.” Nope. Nothing.

So, I’ve owed a toll for one year and had no clue. The letter reminded me, again, that if I had EZ-Pass, I wouldn’t be in this mess. Do you think the state is twisting my arm just a little, to get me to buy their piece of plastic for the dashboard?

I can afford this nonsense, so I sent in the few dollars I owed and their $50 upcharge. My fear now, is every time I use 890, I have to pray the state doesn’t lose my paperwork and forget to send me a bill. If that happens again, well my trip to Proctor’s (when they can finally reopen) will end up costing me another $50 in upcharge.

I know some of you reading this are rolling your eyes and thinking, “Stubborn jerk, this Gray is.” To that I can only say, hey, I’m from South Troy. Us south-end Trojans would walk 20 blocks to buy a bottle of grape Nehi, if it meant NOT giving our business to someone we were mad at.

Real quick, since I’m on the topic of things always being about the money. Did you see what happened last week with marijuana? We’ve been told it should be legal because it’s easier to regulate and eliminates the black market. We were told this wasn’t just a money grab by the state, this was about much more altruistic motives.

Why then when someone suggested letting people grown their own pot in the backyard, even a small amount, why was that suddenly not okay? If marijuana is no longer a big deal, why not let your neighbor Fred grow one plant, dry it out and have his fun in the safety of his home? Why does the state or government have to be involved at all? Oh, I see, because then nobody makes money on Fred getting high.

Got it. I’m such a slow learner.