Neglected niece

DEAR ANNIE >> My heart hurts so much. Last January, my nephew was diagnosed with leukemia. He is 3 years old. He is only a little boy. He is so strong, and he tries to be a happy little guy. My sister is always talking about my nephew and how his appointments go, and that is fine; I want to hear about them and to know what the next steps are. But here is my problem. I also have a beautiful niece. She is 9 years old. I know my sister loves her very much, but it seems as if she gets put on the back burner when it comes to her brother. My question is: How can I bring this up to my sister without starting a fight?

— Auntie of Two

DEAR AUNTIE >> I’m so sorry about your little nephew. It’s understandable that your sister is fully focused on getting him well and hasn’t considered how it may be affecting her daughter. When it comes to matters of life and death, people are prone to getting tunnel vision.

Rather than confront your sister about this issue right now — which might add guilt to the emotional burden she’s already carrying — take actions on your own to see that your niece feels loved. A family isn’t just nuclear, after all. If your sister sees you showering her daughter with love, she will appreciate it, and it may gently nudge her to consider whether she is spending enough time with her, too. Either way, your niece will be grateful for the bonding time with her awesome aunt.

DEAR ANNIE >> My friend and I were talking about people who threaten suicide if their partner leaves them. I thought this was just an immature and overly dramatic response to a breakup and not something the person making the threat had any intention of going through with. However, my friend revealed to me that this actually happened to a friend of hers. Her friend was seeing an older man who had another girlfriend at the time. This girlfriend threatened to kill herself if he left her. And then she did.

So I guess my question is: What should you do when your partner threatens suicide if you leave?

— Steph in San Diego

DEAR STEPH >> When a partner or anyone threatens suicide, you must take it seriously. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-2738255. The people there will help you assess the situation and determine what actions you can take and the resources available in your state.

I hope that man knows that what happened to his girlfriend was not his fault. If someone is threatening suicide if a partner leaves, there are underlying mental health problems that need professional treatment.

DEAR ANNIE >> This is in response to “Revs My Engine,” who wrote to you regarding the neighbor who takes all the parking in an area that could accommodate two cars.

If there is actually enough space for two cars, your correspondent has the option of contacting his city’s responsible department (could be planning or traffic or under some other name) and request painted striping to delineate the parking spots. Problem solved, and nobody’s the “bad guy.”

The governing agency has a responsibility to maximize the use of community resources, and street parking fits in that category.

However, there are recognized standards for the size of an on-street parking space, and what looks like enough space for two cars may not officially be. Be careful what you wish for.