Bereavement tips
DEAR HELOISE » I buried my beloved husband last week. This is what I have learned:
Don’t say, “Let me know if there is anything I can do.” It’s hard to ask for help when your whole world has just shattered. Instead, say, “I’m bringing thank you notes and will help you write them.” “I know you don’t feel like cooking/eating, but I’m bringing over a container of soup that you can heat up when you’re ready.” “Let me help with the laundry, mow the lawn, pull weeds or straighten the house.”
The phone stops ringing after a week. Call! Maybe I’ll answer and maybe I just don’t feel like talking, but at least I know you care. Everyone grieves in their own way, but the loneliness is universal. Reaching out in a concrete way brings comfort at a time of profound loss.
— Luanne Gehrig, via email Luanne, thank you for sharing this really helpful hint so your friends can know how to really help you get through a difficult and sad time.
Video inventory
For insurance purposes, you need to make an inventory of items in your home, particularly valuable ones. Here’s how to do it easily. Use your smartphone to make a household inventory, which is important if your home is broken into or there’s a fire or natural disaster.
As you video the items, verbally describe the high-tech equipment, antiques, jewelry and important family items of value. Also show the sides or any manufacturer’s marks to help further identify the item. And read aloud the serial numbers.
Road rage hints
DEAR HELOISE » I appreciate your advice about ways to prevent road rage, and I would like to add something: As soon as it is safe to make a phone call, report it to the police. Describe the vehicle and driver, where it happened and which way the vehicle was headed, and provide the license plate number, if possible. The police will look for the driver, or at least note it so that if there are concerns in the future, it will be on record.
The driver might be impaired, under the influence, having a medical emergency, etc. Regardless, they are a menace to others, not just to you. We are a community, and it helps to consider how something like this can affect others.
— RMB, Silver Spring, Md. RMB, this is excellent advice.
Ringing the bell
DEAR HELOISE » As my mother aged, she needed assistance getting out of bed. We bought a wireless doorbell kit, and mounted the button on a small piece of wood, and clipped it to Mom’s bed. We put the chime in whatever room we were in. When Mom needed help, she just rang the bell! --Jim, via email
What a useful and clever call button!
Sappy clothing
While enjoying outdoor activities, it’s easy for kids to be playing on or around a tree and discover that their clothes have a sticky, sappy residue on them. Try to get to those clothes right away. Check the care labels before you take cleaning action.
If the garments are washable, use a stain remover that contains a dry-cleaning solvent (test a bit first to be sure that the fabric is colorfast). Put the sap-stained spots facedown on several paper towels. Squirt the solvent on the back of the stain and press with a cloth to push through to help get rid of the sap. Let this air-dry and then wash as you usually do.