What did you really get this holiday season?

Yes, the big day has just slipped by once again, and we have the luxury (at least some of us) to pause and take a bit of time to relax and enjoy the season. As you do so, I encourage you to reflect upon your personal gifts this Holiday Season.

MY PERSONAL GIFTS?

Of course, I am not referring to your slippers, or coat, or new phone. Or to any gift you may have opened.

Those new goodies are awesome, but the thrill and fun of the next ‘new thing’ quickly passes. We have all experienced this. The sweetness of the moment, the surprise perhaps and the exploration into playfulness and enjoyment of the new gift… it’s delightful. And yes, adult, teen or child, the moment of elation passes. For some it’s very quick, and for others the moment lingers more. But regardless of how amazing the gift, the thrill will pass.

So then, to what personal gifts am I referring?

IT’S ALL ABOUT PERCEPTION.

In any moment, there are countless ways to perceive what is happening. With every shift in perspective, we experience a different world. The Holidays can be intense, with lots of demands. For most of us, who couldn’t benefit from more ease, more joy and more satisfaction?

We all tend to move through the day with the same ideas, same thoughts, same reactions, and same habits as we did the day before, and the day before that, and so on. We are creatures of habitual thinking and actions, recreating the same personal realities over and over again. If you have been around awhile, you also see how this applies to the holidays and how we are with family and friends.

But what if we could change our perception of the moment, and thus alter our experiences so that we can find more gifts than ever before this Holiday Season? Wouldn’t that be worth exploring?

“BRINGING TO BEAR”…

In our habitual ways of doing things, we rarely introduce something new to the moment that is coming next. Yet, this is one of the absolute keys to creating a more joyful and satisfying life.

So today, let’s consider a new practice. And in this, let’s assume we want to become more and more CONTINUALLY aware of the abundance of personal gifts we have in our lives. If that sounds too weird, then let’s just think of these as all the good stuff we have in our lives. Perhaps this could be very close to continual sense of gratitude for life, with a slight twist.

The Practice: Pick an emotional state that you value, such as love, joy, satisfaction or even ease. For this discussion, let’s go with joy. Now imagine the next hour or so in front of you. As you do so, envision that you (without help from anyone else) will be responsible to bring JOY to bear upon your life in that next hour or so.

The joy you bring to bear upon your life is first and foremost shed upon you. Where can you find joy? Where can you see joy in others? How can you feel more joy within this moment? What memories can you now find, that bring a giggle or a smile? Imagine that you look through the eyes of ‘joy’ to see the past , present and future.

Then next, start projecting into the hours ahead. How could you walk and talk with more joy? How might you see through the eyes of joy with everyone and everything you encounter? Where might you spread that joy? In what ways could you become more aware of every nuance of your life that points to joyful ease?

OPENING THE PERCEPTUAL LENS OF LIFE TO FIND MORE OF WHAT YOU WANT.

If you have followed me through this discussion, and hopefully paused a bit to absorb each of those questions, you may notice that a slight shift has already occurred. The more you pause, reflect, and apply each question then the more you get to discover perceptions changing. And with that, more enjoyable emotional states begin to unfold. You have just directed your destiny in a small, but vitally important way!

Your Challenge: Taking on the responsibility to forward focus and bring to bear the emotions/ values you want to have in your life opens the door to more richness and satisfaction. Just test it and see. You can have more loving, more beautiful, more satisfying moments with a bit of effort.

Bringing to bear what you want to experience more of… well, it’s your life and thus your responsibility. If the Holidays are not quite as rewarding as you want, then this could start to change right now. To find more good stuff this Holiday Season only requires more effort to find those gifts. You can ‘pre-pare’ the next hour or day of your life by readying yourself in advance to find more joy. Remember: You can, if you want, have more yumminess with a bit of effort to expand your perception of life.

Why set a limit on things? Why be practical? Let’s go for more joy, more love, more satisfaction, and ultimately more ease in life this Holiday Season?

We all are deserving of that! Happy Holidays to All!

Dr. Randy Cale, a Clifton Park-based parenting expert, author, speaker and licensed psychologist, offers practical guidance for a host of parenting concerns. His website, www. TerrificParenting.com, offers free parenting guidance and an email newsletter. Readers can learn more by reviewing past articles found on the websites of The Saratogian, The Record and The Community News. Submit questions to DrRandyCale@ gmail.com