Character ethic key to true success
As a coach, psychologist, and father, I am frequently asked what it truly means to be successful.
We have to look no further than the world of professional sports to see the stark contrast between what our society views as success and what I refer to as “true success.” There are many examples in sports and other sectors of society where success is defined by a “win at all costs and by whatever means” mentality.
The recent steroid scandal in baseball and many other sports is a prime example of this philosophy. But as I witness so many of these so-called “successes” in sports and many other areas of life, I am reminded of an axiom that I have long strived to live by which states “Better to fail with integrity than to succeed by fraud.”
Unfortunately, success has become so paramount in the minds of most people that the emphasis has pushed many to attempt to succeed using whatever means necessary, regardless of whether they are fraudulent or not. Cheating has become widespread, not only in sports, but in our schools as well as in all levels of business and society.
How can we account for what appears to be this blatant disregard for honesty and integrity in the name of succeeding at any and all costs?
I believe that Stephen Covey in his groundbreaking book “The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People”’ speaks to the heart of the current dilemma. In looking back over the literature on success over the last 200 years, he noticed a certain paradigm shift emerging during the last 50 years. Prior to the last 50 years, the success literature focused on what Covey refers to as the “character ethic.”
This ethic places the foundation of success on things such as integrity, humility, temperance, courage, patience, indus
try, simplicity, and modesty. In stark contrast to this ethic is the “personality ethic”, which Covey found to be the dominant ethic over the last 50 years. This ethic emphasizes things such as power, control, achievement, quick-fix influence techniques, and slick communication skills.
It is no wonder seeing the stark contrast between these two ethics why our world is in the state it is today. I, like Covey, believe that true and lasting success rests on the basic principles that underlie this character ethic. Unfortunately, you don’t’ hear too much these days on emphasizing the development of character and integrity in our young people, and even less about promoting these values in our culture at large.
I believe that it is the shift in emphasis from the character ethic to the personality ethic that is responsible for many if not most, of the personal, financial, and social ills that we experience in our society.
As Covey so eloquently states, we have to shift our focus from the winlose mentality to the win-win mentality. If we don’t, it all turns out to be lose-lose anyway. I believe that one of the most fundamental mistakes we make as a society if to wait for our leaders to pave the way. We have all waited too long for this to happen. As Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” It is up to every one of us which ethic we practice in our daily interactions.
Change occurs one decision at a time. Dare to be the change that you wish to see in the world!
Dr. Raymond Angelini is a licensed psychologist and a business and personal coach. He has been in practice for over 30 years. He specializes in assisting individuals in finding and sustaining careers that are rewarding, life-enhancing, and in keeping with their personal and spiritual values. He can be reached by email at rayangel58@ gmail.com or you may visit his website at https:// drrayangelini.com.