Attitude is key to improving stress tolerance
The great psychologist William James once remarked, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings, by changing their inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”
William James uttered these words over 100 years ago, and, in my opinion, they are no less true today than they were then. In fact, if someone were to ask me what the greatest discovery of my generation is, my answer would be the same.
We often cannot control the situation or circumstances that we find ourselves in, but we can always choose to control our attitude about that situation or circumstance. It is quite common for people who are struggling or stressed-out to have a negative attitude. Most people don’t even realize that they have choices around which attitudes to adopt. The serenity prayer is one of the most effective stress management tools in existence.
The short version is,
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Stress is most often the result of not having the wisdom to know difference. An attitude of acceptance regarding the things we cannot change, and an attitude of responsibility and action toward things we can change, is, in my experience, one of the best stress-busting strategies we can employ. Life becomes much easier and much less stressful when you stop trying to swim against the tide.
When we do this, it is easier to develop a negative attitude, which is usually a precursor to being stressed-out. All this does is create negative energy, which greatly limits our ability to cope with stressful situations creatively and adaptively.
Recently, I read a book by Will Bowen entitled “A Complaint-Free World.” In it, he challenges readers to go 21
days without complaining, which is the time it takes to develop a new habit. He invites readers to wear a purple wrist band and to switch it every time they complain. Bowen says it take the average person 6-9 months to go 21 days without complaining. I have recently taken this challenge, and it has raised my consciousness as to how frequently I complain and how difficult it is to break the complaining habit.
I strongly suggest that you give this a try if you are serious about changing your negative attitudes,
So, it all starts with the decision to change our attitude. By eliminating negative attitudes from our life, we will be more resilient in response to stress.
We will be able to be more compassionate and focused, and also more fully present in the moment. Most of our stress is generated by being too focused in the past or future.
True happiness and peace are found in the present moment. Therefore, strive to have a present-focused, positive attitude. You will likely find life to be far less stressful and much more worth living if you do!
Dr. Raymond Angelini is a licensed psychologist and a business and personal coach. He has been in practice for over 30 years.
He specializes in assisting individuals in finding and sustaining careers that are rewarding, life-enhancing, and in keeping with their personal and spiritual values. He can be reached by email at rayangel58@ gmail.com or you may visit his website at https:// drrayangelini.com.