Doomed dates, hidden receipts and child care
DEAR ANNIE >> I am 28, a college graduate, and have been told by my family and friends that I am good-looking. I am respectful of women I take out on dates; I pay for all the meals, am pleasant and interesting to talk to, and am neat and clean. I smell good, from cologne to fresh breath, and always dress neatly and fashionably. I am in finance and make six figures. However, rarely do I get a second date. I can’t understand why.
Do all women just want “bad boys”? I am successful professionally but am in a dead end romantically. I want to find someone to build a relationship with, eventually marry, and start a family, but I can’t do that if I can’t even get a second date. What’s wrong with me?
— Looking for Love
DEAR LOOKING >> Loosen up! Stop focusing on doing all the “right” things and instead focus on having fun and living in the moment. Show girls your sense of humor; get in touch with your goofy side; plan creative dates.
You also sound overly concerned with how your dates view you, but what do you think of them? Make sure to evaluate the connection you have with these women and think about how you feel when you’re with them. Remember: you’re looking for your future partner, not a set of boxes to check.
DEAR ANNIE >> We’ve been married nine years and have a 3-year-old daughter. We share responsibilities in raising her. But I’m beginning to feel like I’m being used. I work nights and when I get home from work at 8 am, I’ll find a list on the kitchen table of chores my wife wants done. Aside from the fact I need to sleep, I take my daughter to preschool three days a week and pick her up three hours later.
I’m drifting away from my wife and she is increasingly angry at me. Please don’t suggest counseling. She’d never do it because she says the fault is all mine.
— Two Ships Passing in the Night
DEAR TWO SHIPS >> Sit down as a couple, and lay out both your work schedules, household responsibilities and other obligations. It sounds like you two barely have time to see one another and probably don’t know what the other is up to when you’re not around. Come to an agreement that better balances the household chores while making sure your daughter’s child care is still well supported. If you can, work in some one-on-one quality time as a couple, too. It’s important to make time to reconnect with each other amidst the hubbub of daily life.
It sounds like you two barely have time to see one another and probably don’t know what the other is up to when you’re not around. Come to an agreement that better balances the household chores while making sure your daughter’s child care is still well supported.