The Sentinel-Record - HER - Hot Springs
‘ 32 years of fun’
When Robert Fehler passed away on Feb. 7, he was the happiest man on Earth, having married his sweetheart of 32 years just six days before. Robert married Ellen Fendley Fehler on Feb. 1 at The Pines Nursing and Rehab, where he had lived for the past several months.
Cyndi Hardister, director of social services at The Pines, said she asked Robert what would make him the happiest man on Earth, and he replied “to marry my girlfriend of 32 years.”
Because the wedding was Robert’s dying wish, Cyndi said “we had to make sure that it happened.” They contacted Ellen to make sure it would be OK, and she said “absolutely.”
“We all jumped in there,” Cyndi said. “We had a week to
plan it and it was crazy, but we had to make sure that’s what he got. And it was sweet, ever so sweet.”
Ellen and Robert met in 1980 at Oaklawn Park, where they both worked, Ellen said.
“He was replacing a man on the main line at Oaklawn as the information man,” she said. “So just by happenstance, we met there and worked on the same line.” Ellen sat behind him as a messenger. “We just mingled with the racetrack crowd and really enjoyed ourselves,” she said.
She said their boss jokingly made him a nametag that said he was her assistant on the main line, “which wasn’t true because I was just new working there and he was running tracks all over the country.”
At that time, Robert was going back to Lexington, Ky., where he was born, for about six months out of the year to work at a racetrack there, she said.
Ellen would go and visit him, and he always came back to Hot Springs and visit, she said. Around 1986, Robert moved back to the Spa City full-time.
Robert proposed in 1980. He sent her a picture that was taken on their first outing together, she said. Along with the picture, “he sent that newspaper clipping to me that had the champagne glasses and the dates on it and says ‘Will you marry me?’”
“We talked about it forever and ever and ever, and never did anything about it,” she said.
Cyndi said Ellen was beside him all the way.
“I think Ellen is an amazing woman to have stood by him for 32 years and loved him in sickness and in health,” she said.
She said Ellen had already made the wedding vows long before the wedding.
“Love has no age, and it’s unconditional. And they proved it,” Cyndi said. “I feel honored to have been a part of it, because it was such an emotional experience.”
Cyndi said she felt it was The Pines’ job to bring them the happiness they felt during Robert’s time there.
“She was very happy that day (the wedding day) and beautiful,” she said.
The wedding was a first for The Pines, and gave the employees the opportunity to give back to their residents and their families.
Cyndi said the employees enjoyed Robert during his stay with them.
“He was a very pleasant man,” she said. “He was very engaging in conversation, very polite when speaking with you. His mannerisms were very endearing.”
Ellen said Robert would do anything he could to help anyone.
“He was a very generous person,” she said. “He really never called attention to himself. He was a real jokester sometimes, though, and everybody loved him for his witty comments.”
Robert, who was a Marine veteran, loved and cherished life, having served in the Pacific islands, including Guadalcanal, Bougainville, Guam and Iwo Jima.
“He was at the bottom of the hill (Mount Suribachi) when they planted that famous flag,” Ellen said. “He always said he was so lucky to be alive, because most all of the those boys were under 20 years old and they died on that island.”
Ellen said she is happy to have had the time she did with Robert, which turned out to be “32 years of fun.”