Husband embraces online contact all too eagerly
DEAR ABBY: Are senior citizens having more affairs these days? I used to laugh at the “old couples’ sex letters” I’d see in your column — until it hit home.
My husband ( age 68) ran into a 38- year- old ex- waitress friend. They had lunch, which led to emails and texts, which led to sexts and then a full- blown affair. I believe these personal/ secretive forms of communication make going from texting to sexting much too easy.
Our generation didn’t have much sexual freedom growing up. I think men of that generation have a “go for it before it’s too late” mentality, and the combination of the Internet and Viagra is making it possible.
Should every couple insist on access to their spouse’s devices? How do you broach the subject? I wish I had seen the number of texts being sent early on. Then this whole ugly affair might have been averted. Now my trust, my respect and our marriage are all in crisis. — SHARON IN NAPLES, FLA.
DEAR SHARON: Technology and medicine are extending the sex lives of many seniors these days. However, I don’t think it’s necessary for couples to check each other’s electronic devices if there is no cause for suspicion. In your case, because of your husband’s infidelity, you do have that right — and the way to broach the subject is to tackle it head on. And if you haven’t already, insist that your husband join you in marriage counseling.
DEAR ABBY: I am dating a guy ( seriously) who is fantastic. “Kyle” is smart, trustworthy, kind — and incredibly gorgeous. The problem is, he has two Boston terriers who drive me crazy — one in particular whose breathing is so loud all the time that we can’t even hear a TV program or each other speak. That dog is super hyper and has destroyed numerous things in my house. Kyle’s house reeks of doggy odor, and the dogs also have horrible gas and vomit often.
If we are staying over at my place, his dogs come with him. I hate it! It is the weirdest thing, but I notice my anxiety level rises when the dogs are here, running around and snorting uncontrollably. There are other issues, but I don’t want to write a novel.
I am trying to live in the moment and not let it bother me. But in this moment, it is intrusive and annoying. What can I do? — BRYAN IN CHICAGO
DEAR BRYAN: Kyle may be gorgeous, but he doesn’t appear to be a very responsible pet owner. He should have asked his veterinarian to check his dogs when he realized they were having repeated gastrointestinal upsets. As to the poor animals’ breathing, it may be because short-faced dogs are prone to breathing problems.
It’s possible that Kyle is so used to the doggy odor in his house that he no longer smells it. That’s why it couldn’t hurt to tell him YOU have noticed it, that it’s overwhelming, and it’s time to get a professional cleaning crew in there.
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