Contract Bridge

The man on the couch was very agitated and distraught.

“Doc, you’ve simply got to help me,” he said. “I don’t understand why these things always happen to me.”

The man showed the psychiatrist the hand diagram. “Look at this,” he cried, frantically wringing his hands. “I end up in six spades after East opens three clubs, and West leads a heart. I win, cash the ace of trumps, and then, since I have two club losers, I try a diamond finesse. East wins with the queen and returns the king of clubs. Later on I lose a club trick and go down one.

“When it’s all over, my partner starts hollering at me and says that since East’s pre-empt marked him with all the missing clubs, I could have made the slam by cashing my second heart, crossing to dummy with a spade and leading a low club toward my jack. East wins with the queen, but has to return a diamond or a club, either of which hands me the contract.

“Not only that, but both opponents now chime in, saying that after stripping the hearts and spades I also can play the A-K-J of diamonds, ruffing East’s queen. Then a spade to dummy and a low club return again cooks East’s goose.”

The man looked up. “It’s always so obvious after it’s over,” he said sadly. “Anything you can do to help me, Doc?”

“I must confess I’ve never seen a hand so badly mangled,” said the psychiatrist, “but the solution is really quite simple. You must train yourself to review all the pertinent facts and then formulate a plan before starting to play. Never act impulsively. Careful reasoning and cautious selfrestraint are the bywords.”

“Gee, thanks, Doc, maybe that’ll do it. You don’t know how much these mistakes have been costing me,” said the man.

“Wait till you see my bill,”

Tomorrow: More about probabilities.