Conan The Late Late Show With James Corden
In protest of President Trump abandoning the Paris Climate Accord, the CEO of Disney has resigned from Trump’s Business Advisory Council. It’s not a good sign when a company led by a giant talking mouse is telling the president to be more realistic.
The “Wonder Woman” movie shattered the glass ceiling, breaking $100 million in box office sales. In fact, the only way Wonder Woman could have done better is if she had campaigned in Wisconsin.
Not everyone is happy about “Wonder Woman.” Several panelists on Fox News accused Wonder Woman of not being American enough because her costume isn’t red, white and blue. They’re also saying to really be American, it should be a double XL.
In Michigan, a Republican congressman said that God would “take care of” climate change. So now, a group of polar bears are on their way to “take care of” a Republican congressman in Michigan.
Today, 15 new features were revealed about the upcoming iPhone 8. The biggest new feature is the battery that only lasts until the announcement of the iPhone 9.
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
Happy St. Comey’s Day, everybody! Of course, everybody celebrates Comey Day in their own way. We’re kind of traditionalists around here. We celebrated by watching TV and writing jokes as fast as we can.
Everybody was looking forward to the former FBI director testifying about all the juicy details of his meetings with Donald Trump. Because, remember, Comey wrote everything down. And all his memos are going to be collected in his new children’s book: “James and the Guilty Orange.” At a Walmart in Minnesota, a customer had to tackle a confused deer after it wandered into the store. The deer is fine and was released back into the wild, which makes this the happiest possible ending to a story of a deer walking into one of America’s largest suppliers of hunting rifles.
Walmart is already trying to capitalize on this by changing their slogan to “Walmart: Where You Can Always Save a Buck.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Bachelorette Rachel used to date Kevin Durant of the Golden State Warriors. That’s right, the star of “The Bachelorette” dated the star of the NBA final. Here at ABC, we call that synergy. The way it’s shaping up, Rachel and Kevin could both get rings this year!
Meanwhile, in Washington, all eyes are off the court and on Congress for the main event tomorrow: former FBI director James Comey will appear before the Senate Intelligence Committee to spill the beans on President Trump. Which, when you think about it on a human level, is pretty great for James Comey. Can you imagine getting fired, and then you get to trash talk your boss in front of the world?
We got a preview today of what Comey plans to share. The Senate released his prepared statement. President Trump was like, “you can prepare statements?”
Cleveland’s chance of winning is a very long shot ... but you can’t ever count LeBron James out. He is very competitive. This is a guy who wanted to win so badly, he became the first person ever to move back to Cleveland.