Thinking about the past — or the future

Everybody has three things: a past, a present, and a future. How we see each of these affects how we’re doing with life. Here’s how I see them:

The past is like a field of statues that represent our experiences and occupy our thoughts in the form of memories. Some of those statues are pleasant, some are not. Some are covered over in weeds; others we would like to cover up but can’t. We cannot alter the past, as much as we would like to sometimes. We can’t change it, but we can change how we think about it.

The present is where life happens. It’s where we can experience pleasure, peace, contentment, and meaning. But whether we experience these things in the present depends on how we think about our past and our future.

The future is different things to different people. For some, it is a sunrise that anticipates a good day. For others, it is storm clouds on the horizon that foreshadow trouble and sorrow. The future can be a heartless taskmaster that forces us to exercise or put off spending — or forego that extra piece of pie. One thing I have discovered about the future: it is seldom as good or as bad as I anticipate it will be.

Depression and anxiety are often fed by unhealthy ways of thinking about the past and the future. If I am filled with anger, guilt, or resentment, I’m more likely to be depressed. If I fear the future, even if that fear is unreasonable, I’m more likely to be anxious.

Oddly enough, this can be good news. We cannot change the past or the future, because the past is written in stone and the future hasn’t happened yet. What we can do is change how we think about the past and future. Developing healthier ways to think is not easy, but it can be done. It’s something we work on every day in our counseling sessions.

If you have difficulty with how you see your past or your future, and if this is causing your present to be distressing, give us a call at 6223580. Perhaps we can help.