Overcoming hate

Dear editor:

My mother persuasively instructed that if we kids could not find something good to say, or helpful at least, about someone, we should hold our peace (or was it piece? Whichever.). In fact, her phrasing was much plainer. And sound.

It is evident that our president is a particular focus (a lightning rod?) in regard to intense personal feelings. Almost daily I wonder if there has ever been a precedent. Passions in politics run high, but the visceral and personal attacks are not like anything most of us have seen.

In regard to the president, it is easy for most folks to make a list of things they don’t like or want to be different.

I did a list; it was cathartic. There are some things I don’t like about him, areas of (in my view) improvement, and some humorous notes I believe he’d enjoy hearing. To me, golden decorations and fixtures are ostentatious, for example.

And with demand, “my” list can be public. (Of course there are things, inexplicably, I don’t like about myself! Or even probably you, reader, to be frank!)

Hatred is a terrible thing, unsolved by saying “I’m not hating.” In its starkest forms, it is blind to facts and reason. Emotional judgments predominate. It is more fundamental than social or political groups. The capacity to hate, and to overcome hate, are intrinsic to humans. At a more subtle level, we give in to an irrational misapprehension of others. We tell them who we judge them to be or want or make them to be. We give into perceptions and feelings without reflection, and will not (even when convinced) change our minds. This can occur in regard to anyone, or any group. It can be a misapprehension of a president, prophet, servant or slave.

Our president and his administration demonstrably do not require the defense or fawning of those who support them. They have proved very sturdy and resolute in the face of attack and emotional excess. But those who sincerely support them also are subject to amazing misapprehensions. They are, in fact, the electoral majority of the country, and study indicates this will be so for some time. It is a complex coalition, not tied to a person most of all. Terms such as “Trumpist” are nearly always inaccurate, whether meant derogatorily or not. The movement can be documented and runs deeper. Lack of interest in understanding — ignorance often fits — is distressing.

But to the point here, lots of confusion and distress are put aside by those who accept the results of duly conducted elections. The selfishness of holding against our basic processes is harmful; divisive. It strains any common cause. Far better to accept whatever help we need to understand, support, pray for and work with those who are elected to represent us. Most of us were blessed to experience this attitude as we grew up. It is still the best way, and when we remember it, we all know it is the best — perhaps the only — way, together.