Civility in the New Year
New age gurus talk a lot about choosing a personal word of the year. These motivational mouthpieces believe choosing a word helps you focus on the goals and actions you want to work on for the next year. They say it also helps you determine your priorities, like whether you will concentrate on family, personal growth, career, etc.
The word can be anything, really. It could be something like
“Grow.” This could mean you want to expand your mind through learning or maybe you want to grow some muscles by working out.
The word could be “Home.” Meaning you want to improve your home life by focusing on ways to draw your family closer. Maybe you just want to buy a home or fix up the home you have.
The words are meant as a kind of a mantra for the coming year. Something to draw you back when you wander to far afield from your desired goal.
I would like to propose a word for us all to consider in 2021. The word would be “Civility.” The dictionary defines civility as “formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech.”
I think we could all agree that our society, as a whole, has lost a good portion of our ability to interact with people who have different ideas and philosophies that are in opposition to our own. We have developed a tribe mentality. We congregate and interact with people who have the same thoughts and views as us and in some cases demonize anyone who has a different perspective.
We have begun to throw around words like zealot, wacko, nitwit, blowhard, elitist, bigot, idiot, lunatic and moron to describe people who believe differently. This is the exact opposite of civility. It epitomizes discourtesy and rudeness. It is not how Americans should conduct conversations.
Your neighbor who voted for Biden is not a crybaby, snowflake commie. They are the person who feeds your cat when you go on vacation and who volunteers to help at the local homeless shelter.
The person at your church who voted for Trump is not a misogynistic, deplorable fascist. They are the first person to visit a fellow church member who is in the hospital. They also support cancer research with a monthly donation.
My point is we are more than what is represented by the various political pundits. We are part of a fantastic, vibrant community. If we look, we will find we are very similar and only different in a few areas.
How do we find those similarities? By having an open, honest and civil discussion. We cannot continue down this fractured, belligerent and obtuse road. Hate solves nothing.
So the next time you feel yourself becoming angry about some political, social or environmental issue take a step back. Try having a civil discourse with the person. Shouting, belittling and disrespecting the person says more about you than it does them.