NEWS OF THE WEIRD
Oooh, Wise Guy, Eh?
Khaled A. Shabani, 46, a hairstylist in Madison, Wisconsin, was arrested on a tentative charge of mayhem and disorderly conduct while armed after an altercation with a customer.
Shabani scolded the 22-year-old customer for fidgeting, then taught him a lesson by using the “shortest possible attachment” to “run down the middle of the customer’s head,” reported the Wisconsin State Journal, and “leaving him looking a bit like Larry from ‘The Three Stooges,’” police spokesman Joel DeSpain said. Shabani also clipped the customer’s ear with scissors.
“While it is not a crime to give someone a bad haircut,” DeSpain noted, “you will get arrested for intentionally snipping their ear with a scissors.” Shabani said the snip was an accident, and his charge was later reduced to a ticket for disorderly conduct.
Bright Ideas
Polk County (Florida) Sheriff’s officers responded to an unusual 911 call on New Year’s Eve: Michael Lester, 39, of Winter Haven, started off by telling the dispatcher, “Umm, I’m drunk. I don’t know where I’m at. I’m just drunk driving.”
The dispatcher urged Lester to pull over and park, but he explained that he was driving on the wrong side of the road near a Publix and wondered where the police were. WTVT reported that officers finally caught up with Lester, who helpfully explained he’d had several beers, hadn’t slept much and had taken methamphetamine earlier in the day; he was jailed on a DUI charge.
Least Competent Criminal
When Dustin Johnson, 22, of Minot, North Dakota, tried to steal $4,000 worth of merchandise from a local Hobby Lobby, he failed to take into account that shopping carts don’t have snow tires.
The Grand Forks Herald reported that over a seven-hour period, Johnson filled a cart then fled the store – where the cart became stuck in snow in the parking lot and flipped over. Johnson fell down, then got up to run, leaving behind his wallet with photo ID matching the shoplifter’s description.
Minot police caught up with Johnson at his home.
Extreme Climate News
It may be cold where you are, but it’s hot in Broadford, a small town about an hour from Melbourne, Australia, where the highway began melting.
Temperatures of 100 degrees Fahrenheit and higher reactivated an ingredient in the road surface, turning it into a sticky mess on the Hume Freeway, 9News reported. Motorists were warned by Victoria police to avoid the right lane and expect delays over a 10km stretch. Officials also put in place a fire ban and urged people to stay indoors until the heat abated.