NEWS OF THE WEIRD

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

A parking lot in Augusta, Georgia, became the scene of a nightmare for an unsuspecting motorcyclist and his 1982 Honda bike. On his way to exchange some shirts at Target in the Augusta Exchange shopping center, Don Merritt told WJBF-TV, “I was going to go around the back to avoid the speed bumps,” but when he did, he and his bike fell into a sinkhole.

Firefighters were called to rescue Merritt, who suffered a skull fracture and a loose tooth as a result of the 15-foot fall. The bike was totaled. “It’s not good customer relations,” Merritt said about the sinkhole. The center property manager reportedly is fixing the hole.

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Staff at an internet cafe in Jiaxing, Zhejiang Province, China, had to call paramedics when a gamer lost all feeling in his lower limbs after playing the same game for more than 20 hours straight.

Newsweek reported that the unnamed man didn’t realize he had become paralyzed until he tried to use the restroom and couldn’t move his legs. As he was being carried out on a stretcher, he was heard begging his friends to finish the game for him.

Redneck Chronicles

Cheryl Merrill, 60, of Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, was arguing with her boyfriend of five years about who would win Super Bowl LII and became so enraged shortly after kickoff that she picked up a wooden shelf and threw it at him.

St. Johns County sheriff’s deputies were called and found Merrill “extremely intoxicated,” according to reporting by WJAX-TV. Merrill was charged with aggravated battery and taken to the St. Johns County Jail. Her boyfriend was unable to sign an affidavit because of the hand injury he sustained in the assault.