Don’t feel guilty you weren’t there when she passed

Dear Bonnie: I hope you can answer some questions for me that I have about what happens when we die. My mom just passed away two weeks ago, and I was not there to say goodbye. It is haunting me not knowing if she knows how much I loved her, and I really did want to be there when she passed. She passed in the nursing home in the night, and I want to know that someone was there with her when she went to heaven. I have a lot of guilt for not being able to be with her. — Katie.

Dear Katie: I am so sorry for the loss of your mom.

No one is ever alone when they pass to the higher side of life. I promise you God does not leave anyone alone or afraid. I have seen for myself Jesus coming to escort loved ones to take them home, standing in front of them with open arms. Not only are you surrounded by this feeling of unconditional love, but you also are greeted by family and friends and those with whom you have a connection. They are there to welcome you to your new way of living. You are greeted and made to feel at home and at peace.

Many times, if you had beloved animals here during your Earth time and they went to heaven first, they are anxiously waiting to lick your face or to jump on your lap once more. I have seen for myself my father’s horses coming to greet him.

Your mother would not want you to have any guilt for not being there for her passing, and often our loved ones do not want us to have that memory as their last memory. I believe everyone goes home when the timing is right for them.

My father was a very private man and full of life until the age of 93. When he was in the hospital, I would stand at the end of his bed, and I would close my eyes and see my mom, who passed before him, standing there waiting. I knew she was waiting for him, and that night before I left his side, I gave him a kiss and told him, “If you see Mom or a bright white light, go ahead and go, Dad.” That night he passed in his bed without any of his children there to see. That is how my dad would have wanted it.

I still remember that special kiss. Remember your mom with love, and I know she can feel that love as she is in heaven watching and caring for you. She would want you to feel nothing but that love that you had for each other.