Wife takes over the TV, so it may be time to buy another
DEAR ABBY » My wife and I have been married 47 years. Since she retired from her job, she has become addicted to her DVR. She records everything she can think of to watch “later.” She has shows she recorded from last year but hasn’t watched, and they take up 90% of her DVR disc. She uses only about 10% for new shows that she watches to make room for other programs. So, every night, we have to watch what she has recorded that day to make room for the next day’s recordings.
If I say anything about it, she gets very upset and it causes tension. I don’t mind some of the shows, but there aren’t that many I will spend time watching. I wish there was a support group for husbands of women who are addicted to their DVRs so we could understand what’s going on in their heads. How should I deal with the problem?
— Saved for Later in Texas
DEAR SAVED » If there is a support group for husbands of compulsive wives, I am not aware of it. The solution may be to inform your wife that she can now stream many of the shows she’s been saving on the DVR. A compromise might be viewing ONE of the archived programs a night in addition to the new ones, if possible. However, if she’s not agreeable, consider buying yourself your own television set. That way, you are not obligated to watch anything you don’t wish to.
DEAR ABBY » I was offered a beach condo. I invited my friend “Sara,” then another and another. These women had heard of each other but didn’t really know each other. I assumed we could all have a great time. When I told Sara I had invited others, she backed out!
It has been three months, and she has refused all invitations to get together. We used to talk daily and see each other weekly. I have apologized. How do I get Sara to forgive me for not having given her a “heads up” before inviting the others?
— Missing Her in South Carolina
DEAR MISSING » I suspect Sara may have other reasons for taking 10 steps back, and inviting others to join you was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Was she jealous? Did she need time alone with you to confide in you? Have you been able to discuss with her the reason for her extreme reaction? It might save the relationship if you could find out. However, if Sara’s unwilling to talk about it, perhaps you should consider yourself lucky to have seen this punitive side of her so YOU can step back.
DEAR ABBY » What is the proper response when someone tells you their relative is going into hospice? “Congratulations, that’s wonderful” doesn’t seem right. But “I’m so sorry” doesn’t seem appropriate either, since hospice is an affirmative action often welcomed by the person who is ill. I would appreciate your thoughts.
— Correct Response
DEAR CORRECT » An appropriate response would be, “I’m sorry to hear this. But if it means the end of your loved one’s suffering, it’s the right decision.”
The SoCal Indie Bestseller List for the sales week ended July 17is based on reporting from the independent booksellers of Southern California, the California Independent Booksellers Alliance and IndieBound. For an independent bookstore near you, visit IndieBound.org.
HARDCOVER FICTION
1. Horse: Geraldine Brooks
2. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow: Gabrielle Zevin
3. Lapvona: Ottessa Moshfegh
4. Lessons in Chemistry: Bonnie Garmus
5. The Hotel Nantucket: Elin Hilderbrand
6. Sparring Partners: John Grisham
7. The It Girl: Ruth Ware
8. This Time Tomorrow: Emma Straub
9. The 6:20 Man: David Baldacci
10. NSFW: Isabel Kaplan
HARDCOVER NONFICTION
1. Happy-Go-Lucky: David Sedaris
2. Crying in H Mart: A Memoir: Michelle Zauner
3. An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us: Ed Yong
4. Thank You for Your Servitude: Donald Trump’s Washington and the Price of Submission: Mark Leibovich
“Horse,” by Geraldine Brooks, is the top-selling hardcover fiction release at Southern California’s independent bookstores.
5. The Win-Win Wealth Strategy: 7 Investments the Government Will Pay You to Make: Tom Wheelwright
6. Rogues: True Stories of Grifters, Killers, Rebels and Crooks: Patrick Radden Keefe
7. Leadership: Six Studies in World Strategy: Henry Kissinger
8. The Islander: My Life in Music and Beyond: Chris Blackwell
9. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones: James Clear
10. Hollywood Ending: Harvey Weinstein and the Culture of Silence: Ken Auletta
MASS MARKET
1. 1984: George Orwell
2. Animal Farm: George Orwell
3. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: Douglas Adams
4. The Martian Chronicles: Ray Bradbury
5. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: Quentin Tarantino
6. Death by Bubble Tea: Jennifer J. Chow
7. Dune: Frank Herbert
8. The Great Gatsby: F. Scott Fitzgerald
9. Foundation: Isaac Asimov
10. The Catcher in the Rye: J.D. Salinger
TRADE PAPERBACK FICTION
1. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo: Taylor Jenkins Reid
2. Where the Crawdads Sing: Delia Owens
3. It Ends with Us: Colleen Hoover
4. Malibu Rising: Taylor Jenkins Reid
5. Book Lovers: Emily Henry
6. Circe: Madeline Miller
7. The Song of Achilles: Madeline Miller
8. Verity: Colleen Hoover
9. The Personal Librarian: Marie Benedict, Victoria Christopher Murray
10. Beach Read: Emily Henry