Marriage is failing as she's succeeding; counseling needed
A few years ago, my husband, unhappy in his job, decided he wanted to be a real estate agent. He quit his job to do full-time real estate, and really struggled. The company he joined offered little training, and he had no office skills. The dramatic drop in our income almost bankrupted us. He asked me to also get a license to help (I have a great office job). I didn’t want to at first because I knew I would end up doing almost all the work, but I did it anyway.
Shortly after I got licensed, he was offered a position at his previous company. It was a blessing, and he took it. I have been selling real estate in addition to my job and having a lot of success. I believe it’s due to my 20 years of office management experience and social media skills. Although I’m an introvert, I’m a hard worker, and my business is growing. People seek me out.
Abby, my husband is jealous. When I sell a home, he pouts, acts depressed or picks arguments around that time. He hates going to business dinners or training with our company, and if I go without him, he barely speaks to me the next day. Sometimes he gets excited and talks about how he needs to sell some houses. When he does, I encourage him and talk about how great he is at working with people, but ultimately he does nothing to make it happen.
I really enjoy real estate. I love getting out and showing houses and networking with other agents, and the extra income has really helped. I don’t know what to do.
— Paying the Price
of Success
Your husband may be jealous because you have outdone him in his (day)dream job. Or, he may be punishing you out of fear that you are becoming so successful you might want your independence. Keep going and do NOT allow his behavior to diminish you. None of what you have described is healthy for the future of your marriage. I’m hoping a licensed marriage and family therapist may be able to help you to navigate through this rough patch. Please don’t put it off. Without counseling, the status quo isn’t likely to change.
I have a friend who doesn’t drive and constantly asks me to take her places. As a good friend, I do it. When I take her to an event, we agree on a time that we will leave, but she invariably stays behind to chat with other people 30 or 45 minutes past the time that we agreed on. In addition, she never offers anything for fuel. I think she’s inconsiderate, and I’m thinking about telling her she will need to find her own rides. Am I wrong for this?
— Over It in New Jersey
No, you are not wrong, but the next time it happens, try this: Tell your good friend you will be leaving the event at a specific time and if she wants to stick around and chat, she should find another ride home. That way you won’t be inconvenienced.
HARDCOVER FICTION
1. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow:
2. Lessons in Chemistry:
3. How to Sell a Haunted House:
4. Victory City:
5. Demon Copperhead:
6. Big Swiss:
7. The Shards:
8. Babel:
9. Horse:
10. Don’t Fear the Reaper:
HARDCOVER NONFICTION
1. Spare:
2. The Creative Act: A Way of Being:
3. I’m Glad My Mom Died:
4. Love, Pamela: A Memoir of Prose, Poetry, and Truth:
5. 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go:
6. Crying in H Mart: A
Memoir:
7. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones:
8. An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us:
9. The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times:
10. Stay True: A Memoir:
MASS MARKET
1. The Murder of Roger Ackroyd:
2. 1984:
3. Mistborn: The Final Empire:
4. Mythology: 5. Fire & Blood: 6. Animal Farm: 7. Slaughterhouse-Five:
8. The Catcher in the Rye:
9. True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart:
10. The Witching Hour:
TRADE PAPERBACK FICTION
1. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo:
2. The Silent Patient:
3. Circe:
4. Violeta:
5. Daisy Jones & The Six:
6. The Maid:
7. It Ends with Us:
8. Project Hail Mary: 9. Klara and the Sun: 10. It Starts with Us:
Aries (March 21-April 19):
Taurus (April 20-May 20):
Gemini (May 21-June 20):