Joleenmontoyadye

Eight women of impact How does it feel to be chosen for this recognition? What was your reaction? What is the main issue for women in Taos these days?

I think one of the main lessons I'm continually learning in life is the difference between tenacity and holding on to something for too long. I can be very loyal and up for a challenge… but the downside of this is that I sometimes continue working through things that have expired or served their purpose. I'm still learning that it is okay to walk away from things before all of the blaring signs demand I let go.

I am continuously blown away by the expansive circle of women who hold and inspire me — starting with my own mom, Berlinda, who has been such a steady source of love and support. Her love has feet, she shows up in all of the unspoken, right ways. I've also been rich in love and support from my own sisters, aunties, friends, midwives, doctors, therapists, body healers, co-workers, kids' teachers and caregivers… all women. I am surrounded by powerful, wise, generous women who fill my reserves, sharpen my perspective, tenderly attend to my trigger points, help me find connection, community and joy in the good and hard moments, and remind me that I'm not on this journey alone.

I have found inspiration in all of these things and have never felt more grateful for the artists who remind us of our shared humanity, especially during hard times like the past couple of years when we've all felt unsteady and had to pull from and replenish shallow reserves. During shutdown and over the course of the past year, I became a serial walker and podcast listener. It was a way to help me regulate and get outside of my very small house — where my whole family was schooling, working, living… I found great comfort in the musings of Kelly Corrigan and Glennon Doyle who share honestly about the human experience and are so deliberate with their articulation of these experiences. There is nothing better than feeling witnessed in our own experiences through art, music, writing...

Even though I realize this question is broader than this, I can't help but answer from my lens as a mother. I think that one of the main issues affecting women, but really families and the health of our entire community, is the need to support mothers. I recently read a quote that stuck with me from Dr. Rick Hansen, “The very best thing we can do for all of our children and the future of humanity is to take good care of their mothers.” We need to take care of mothers' mental health, and advocate for policies and systems level support that will create relief for mothers so that they have community and more space to attend to parenting with presence.

We are all weary from this experience. I hear from many women that they are exhausted from making decisions based on moving targets, from the responsibility of remaining steady for their families when all of our supports have been dismantled. I relate as I've tried to work, school, and do all the things from our dining table. I recently heard Esther Perel say that we are not working from home, we are working with home, meaning that there is no separation between any parts of our lives, it is all at the forefront. We are all worn from working and living in this way.

And yet, there have also been some beautiful aspects of pandemic living. It has allowed many of us the space to reevaluate how we are living and to imagine alternatives that we may not have had the creativity, courage, or necessity to imagine before. It has allowed me to see that just because there are systems that most people participate in, doesn't mean they are right for most people. It has always been important to me that my time and efforts reflect what matters most to me, and the pandemic has accentuated these values and accelerated some movement around adjusting to move closer to alignment.