The Taos News

El Vato Loco meets al Bato Loco

¿Habla Usted Spam-glish?

- Larry Torres

El tiempo del otoño had finally arrived. With the coming of autumn

las hojas de los árboles

were más yellow than green. Grampo Caralampio and Canutito were standing out en el portal toward sunset cuando Canutito noticed que había una black spot on the wall. He looked intently at esa mancha negra en la pared and he asked grampo: “Grampo, ¿qué es ese black spot on the wall that is moving un poquito como que it is trying to fly?” Grampo looked up to where el muchachito was pointing and he said: “M’hijo, ése es un murciélago; a type of ratón

volador. It is a mouse with wings that flies out nomás por la noche to feed on polillas and other moths. We used to have uno de esos hanging around our home cuando yo era joven. Mis hermanitos y yo used to

talk to him. “Él era como el pet de toda la familia. We used to

call him ‘el bato loco’ because he was a crazy bat.”

“Oh, I get it, grampo!” Canutito squealed. “He was a crazy dude como un vato

loco, just like the guys from the hood.”

“Sí m’hijo,” grampo said. “Sometimes people used to call me un ‘vato loco’ porque yo era un wild and crazy dude when I was young.”

“¿Qué clase de cosas did you used to do para ser un vato

loco, grampo?” Canutito asked him.

“I didn’t do cosas malas, m’hijo,” grampo replied, “just silly things.” “Tell me about una de esas cosas, grampo,” Canutito begged him. “Well, I remember un Halloween que I decided to

go trick-or-treating con mis amigos,” grampo said, “pero we wanted to play tricks en las personas in such a way que they would not know que le habíamos jugão un trique.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound too bad, grampo,” said Canutito. “Did you wear una máscara fea to scare little kids or did you disguise yourself como una bruja?”

“I didn’t wear una scary mask, m’hijo,” said grampo. “In fact, no nos interesaba­n los little kids; nosotros queríamos play tricks en los adultos. En esos días, cuando yo estaba en el high school, my buddies and

I decided to go hacer trick-ortreat en una neighborho­od donde vivían puros old folks. We went and bought un

bonche de dulces and we put them into our own bags. Then we rang the doorbell en las casas de los viejos and we yelled: “Trick-or-treat!”

y cuando los viejos abrían la puerta we would take the candy out de los parquetes de nosotros and put it into their bowls. Luego we would thank them and run away riéndonos y dejándolos todos confused. Once they thought about it and scratched their heads por un momento, they would yell after us: “No! Wait! That’s not cómo trabaja la cosa! We’re supposed to give YOU los dulces!”

“¡Oh grampo!” Canutito exclaimed, “What an awful thing de hacerles a los viejitos! De por sí, se les enrueda la jonda naturally and you just confused them mucho más, dándoles the candy from your

bag.”

“Well, you wanted to know por qué este vato loco was como el bato loco that you see on the wall. We were both un poco flighty y misterioso­s ....

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