Be careful what you ask for

When I first learned of affirmations – short, powerful statements that you repeat frequently – I was taught to be clear about a specific goal and to include all the details.

Over the years, though, I’ve learned that it’s better to be general, rather than specific, with affirmations. It used to be that whenever life decided on a totally different path for me than the one I was affirming, I was dragged along, kicking and screaming. Only in hindsight could I see how the new direction was not only far better, it sometimes kept me from ruin.

Here’s one example: In the late 1980s my architect husband, Jacques Duvoisin, and I lived in Bernardsville, New Jersey, in the house of our dreams – a Frank Lloyd Wright home called the Christie House. Our landlord was a contractor who had bought the land and house, planning to tear it down and build a mansion.

However, when the excavators came to demolish this architectural work of art, the neighbors stood in front of the big machines, not letting them destroy it. The owner decided to rent the FLW house and Jacques was first in line.

We rented out my house in High Bridge to a woman named Sarah and moved into the Christie House as grateful stewards of that sacred space. Four years later Jacques and I were each thriving in our work, so we approached the owner about selling to us and he agreed.

I was practicing specific affirmations at the time and I affirmed that we would buy the Christie House, even though it was quite a stretch financially. We knew we had to sell my High Bridge home to make the down payment – and that’s when the first disappointment happened. Sarah wouldn’t let the realtor or prospective buyers inside! Even though I was diligently affirming that the house was sold, my tenant was blocking my path, keeping me from my very specific goal.

While struggling to get Sarah to work with me, a recession hit, I got laid off in a merger, and Jacques’ business went bankrupt. Any hopes of being able to pay rent on the Christie House, let alone a mortgage, vanished.

Within a few months, Sarah left and we moved back into my High Bridge house. Actually, Sarah saved us! If she had cooperated as I had affirmed, if we had sold my house as I had affirmed, if we had bought the Frank Lloyd Wright house as I had affirmed, and then been hit with a layoff and bankruptcy, we would have lost both houses and been financially ruined.

I am very grateful that Sarah kept a house for us to return to.

And speaking of gratitude, I appreciate your reading my column every month and sending your comments to me.

Also, heartfelt thanks for doing some of your Christmas shopping on NorthernNewMexicoArtists.com. Just click on Artist Profiles on the top menu and scroll to the bottom for each name. No mask, no social distancing – so easy and safe.

By the way, I’m still a firm believer in affirmations and next month I’ll tell you why, when practiced properly, affirmations really do work. Happy Thanksgiving!

Ellen Wood of Questa is the awardwinning author of the series of books, “The Secret Method for Growing Younger,” available at northernnewmexicoartists.com.

howtogrowyounger. com.