Men can experience domestic violence, too
More than one Taos County man has allegedly been killed by a female partner over the past year, which has brought up the less talked about subject of domestic violence against men. We honor the family that had the courage and strength to hold a remembrance event for one of those victims at Taos Plaza, and to raise awareness of male victims of this form of violence.
Domestic violence against men is a circumstance that, thankfully, most adult men do not experience. But the ones that do often suffer shame, stigma and self-doubt, and are less likely to report it to authorities or agencies like CAV, not accessing free safety planning, support and counseling.
So we know males are assaulted at higher rates than publicly reported or privately shared. We understand interpersonal violence can occur against males or females, and it comes in many forms: physical, verbal, sexual and emotional. We have seen that intimidation and coercion to exert power and control over an intimate partner or family member knows no gender identity, class, ethnicity or sexual orientation.
There are many myths downplaying the frequency and ferocity of domestic violence against males. Here are some of them, from the National Domestic
Violence Hotline (800-7997233):
• The world tells us men can’t be victims of abuse.
• The media tell us men can only be perpetrators of violence, never victims.
• Men are not “real men” if they can’t take it.
• Men don’t have access to the same resources as women.
We at CAV would like to the Taos community to know that, yes, our agency does provide services to male victims of domestic violence. Our 24-hour Helpline at 575-758-9888 is a safe first step.
They also can take advantage of other CAV services, just as women can, including:
• Safety planning
• Emergency shelter
• Transitional housing
• Civil legal services
• Advocacy and case management
• Counseling
• Information and referrals If you or someone you know may be the victim of domestic violence, whether male or female, CAV is ready to provide the support needed to eradicate this heartbreaking abuse from our community.
Thank you, Taos
This year’s CAV Radiothon was incredible. Because of your generous and continuing support, CAV raised $94,800 – the highest amount of donations in 19 years. We set the goal for the day at an ambitious $80,000 (of the annual $180,000 fundraising goal), but individual, family and business donors broke through that by a significant margin.
Thanks, as always, to KTAO for hosting the Radiothon, to all the folks who called to pledge their support, and who gave online (TaosCAV.org) or stopped by CAV’s Thrift Store to make their donations.
Every dollar raised helps leverage grant funding necessary to support the provision of critical community services and prevention education.
Calls came from friends (old and new), from all over, challenging each other to help. Special kudos to our “CAV Business Sponsors” – business leaders and partners who invest in our essential community services (see them listed at TaosCAV.org). Think about choosing them for where best to spend your dollars.
And, probably most of all, we are deeply touched by so many intensely personal and couragefilled stories that people shared during the Radiothon that make us, once again, admire the incredible resiliency and hope inspired in our communities.
Thanks again from all the CAV staff who quietly provide wideranging confidential services to children and adults (nearly 800 people last year) and prevention education. If you missed the Radiothon, your gift is still needed to help make our community safer for everyone.
Malinda Williams is the executive director of Community Against Violence (CAV) which offers FREE confidential support and assistance for child and adult survivors of sexual and domestic violence, dating violence, stalking, and child/ elder abuse; community and school violence prevention programs; re-education groups for people using power and control in their relationships; counseling; shelter; transitional housing; and community thrift store. To talk or get information on services, call CAV’s 24-hour hotline at (575) 758-9888 or visit TaosCAV.org.