Seeking strategies to manage holiday stress
“Happy Holidays,” people say — but is that really what we all experience? Especially after two intense years of COVID, many of us may not agree. Taos Behavioral Health has seen sorrow, grief, depression, anxiety, anger and fear.
These past two years have seen an increase in referrals, more individuals in crisis and deep stress for a variety of reasons, including financial problems. Seasonal stress increases the anxiety and fears experienced by our youth. School administrators have reached out to us reporting an alarming increase in suicidal thoughts in youth as young as early elementary school.
And these are not just effects seen in Taos.
State and national data
The Annie E. Casey’s Kids Count Data Book reports an overall unprecedented youth mental health crisis. In the 2022 data, New Mexico ranks 50th in overall youth well-being.
Adult mental health is also in crisis. New Mexico ranks ninth in the U.S. in the percentage of serious mental illness among adults — which can obviously be compounded by the holiday season.
The American Psychological Association has reported that, nationally, 38 percent of adults feel a sense of anxiety and depression in the holiday season. Some of the issues that are identified for are:
• Feeling you lack the “holiday spirit”
• Feeling overwhelmed by grief and loss of family members and friends
• Feeling pressured to participate in activities, but not wanting to
• Being stressed about giving gifts
• Feeling as though you are isolated or alone
Strategies that can help
Our clinicians work with clients to support their goals so that their holidays are less anxiety-inducing. In response to the above stressors, thinking clearly about why you are “triggered” by the holidays can help you to avoid the people or specific situations that lead to stress.
Planning assertively to only attend activities you find comforting is important.
One common complaint in the winter is that the gray skies are depressing. Here in New Mexico, we do not have that stressor — a walk outside smiling at the sun can help boost your spirit (see this week’s health story on Page C1 for more on this topic). Spend time with friends who share some of your attitudes and do not feel obliged to fulfill everyone else’s wish for them. This is not easy when families invite you to “mustattend” events. Feel strong about your choices and make alternative plans — which may include engaging in a favorite activity alone or with chosen friends. Your goal should be to find joy in the presence of others, or a peaceful silence if alone.
About those gifts
People often feel guilty about not being able to buy that “perfect gift” for those they love, and some advertisers take advantage of this anxiety. It’s important to reframe the meaning of gifts. It can be spending time with another in a meaningful way — sharing a favorite activity — whether it be a hike or a physical activity or listening to favorite music. We all need to remember how important quality time, and how, when spent with others, can be a chance to really share and listen. Take the chance to visit or call a friend or family member you rarely see and catch up.
Another creative suggestion is to make a recording — especially of older family members so that their presence can be preserved. Using the Zoom recording option or a voice memo app on your phone, ask them meaningful questions and preserve their wisdom. You might ask questions like, “Tell me about the most important parts of your life. When did you feel most alive? What have you learned in your life that you want to pass on to others? What are you most proud of?”
Research shows that the human voice is as distinctive as a finger print and the recording of a beloved figure can be comforting to an infant or people struggling with anxiety. This might be an especially meaningful activity for a young person to do.
Services
Our staff have been working with commitment and skill to help youth and adult clients navigate this season. We utilized technology to offer safe services via social media to those who desire those models. As we met with students, the school districts facilitated communication and referrals. School personnel identified students who were “missing in action” and collaborated in outreach. A great lesson of the year was broader community recognition that there are critical unmet behavioral health needs in our communities. Our services are culturally grounded and reflect our understanding that the pandemic has seriously challenged the mental and emotional health of families. We have all experienced years which have challenged our ability to manage our lives.
As we reflect on the seasons, Taos Behavioral Health is continuing to find new ways to collaborate with our communities to help meet their needs and make them stronger.
Taos Behavioral Health has the largest licensed and credentialed behavioral health staff in Northern New Mexico. We can be reached at taosbehavioralhealth. org, 575-578-4297 or at 105 Bertha St. in Taos.