The Times Herald (Norristown, PA)
This year, pass the turkey AND the family photos
When extended families lived closer together, it was easy to pass on family stories and anecdotes, maybe while cooking dinner or putting children to bed.
“Over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go” was essentially how people lived, says John Baick, a history professor at Western New England University in Springfield, Massachusetts. Many Americans could walk or ride to relatives’ homes, and shared meals often. That created a natural place for passing on family history and re-telling the stories that help us understand where we come from.
In post-war America, says Baick, as families spread out to far-flung suburbs and beyond, gatherings with extended family became rarer. Now, holiday meals can be among the only opportunities to ask relatives about their lives and their recollections of previous generations.
This holiday season, along with planning menus and decorating, consider collecting family stories and bits of precious data that otherwise might be lost forever.
Start gently
Although a room full of relatives might seem the perfect place to gather stories, tread carefully, especially with older relatives, says Dr. Elisabeth Burgess, director of the Gerontology Institute at Georgia State University.
“Being in large groups of people, while exciting, can be overwhelming and can cause people to withdraw,” she says. Consider finding a quiet room to talk, or invite one or two older relatives to arrive before other guests.
“If Great Aunt Susie is coming over before the meal and she’s going to sit in the kitchen with you while you prepare the meal, that’s a great time to talk,” Burgess says. “Asking her about meals when she was growing up and holiday dinners she cooked while you are preparing your own meal may draw out stories that