Longtime addiction remains a secret in woman’s past

I am a 53-year-old woman who has finally met a kind, decent man after many abusive relationships. I honor our bond and have been open about my past, which has been colorful, to say the least.

I was an addict. It was a long addiction that left me homeless and almost killed me many times. I have kept this part of my life a secret from everyone out of shame and fear of judgment. I would love to be open about it with him and let him know how much drugs affected me, but I don’t want to drive him away. Any advice is appreciated.

— Ex-addict in California

In one sentence you say you have been open about your past; in the next you say you are keeping your addiction and what it cost you a secret. You don’t say how long you have known this man, or whether you plan to make this relationship permanent. If you do, you should tell him about your entire past because, if he finds out some other way, THAT is what could cause him to end the relationship.

I have a problem with my family. I am a woman in my 60s who does not and never has driven a car or any other vehicle. My older sister and brother think I have leprosy because I don’t drive. How can I, or anyone in the same position as I am, get through to them that not everyone drives, and that those of us who don’t or can’t are like anyone else on this planet?

— Not behind the wheel