Colliton

in a struggle among would-be friends, attorneys, advisers and managers.

All of this raises common questions not confined to Stan Lee’s experience. When you are too physically or mentally or emotionally debilitated to be able to act on your own, who should stand in your place and, where necessary, make decisions for you?

First, this is where financial and health care powers of attorney come in and occasionally, if you are incapacitated, then guardianship proceedings. But life being what it is — it is not immediately apparent how to sort the villains from concerned actors. Sometimes even the alleged villain does not see himself as that. Also, when family that has not previously become involved, and does so later, it could be from protective or exploitive motives or mixed. Courts have seen many of these situations.

Things change over time. The person originally appointed as agent under power of attorney maybe should continue, maybe not. When nonfamily members become involved only recently — the lady down the street, a newly discovered acquaintance — bells go off. So, what should be done?

In a perfect world, family, including adult children and spouses, would all work together including the person who is failing, wherever possible. They would communicate on a regular basis, maybe have family meetings. Those closest to the situation would let the others know what is going on as best they can. Those at a distance would have confidence that the ones who are acting for dad or mom are acting primarily with their parent’s best interests in mind. There would be agreement on who would act if a parent or spouse could not — designated in advance in a power of attorney signed by the parent or spouse previously — and the designated agent under power of attorney would have backups or successors if the first person appointed could not act. These cases are least likely to end up in court. In