What do your parents owe you when they die?

WASHINGTON, D.C. » I get a tremendous amount of feedback from readers every time I write on the topic of what’s fair in a parent’s will.

Most recently, I addressed whether a needy adult child should get more money in the will than a financially secure sibling.

Most of the reader responses I received homed in on how the perceived unfairness of a will can break up families, causing decadeslong drama. In an occasional feature in my column called “Talk Back,” I allow people to respond to an issue I’ve raised. Here’s what some folks had to say on what parents owe (or don’t owe) their adult children.

“I am the oldest of five children,” wrote C. Wolfe. “I’ve been very fortunate in life. My husband made a good income. We are both frugal. My siblings were less so in their younger days — multiple divorces, failed business ventures, and yes, sometimes what I would consider unwise spending on ‘stuff.’ My parents helped them all, some multiple times. It didn’t bother me. If I had needed something, I’m sure they would have helped me, too. But one year, my dad unexpectedly came into an inheritance from a distant uncle. He decided to share it with us and gave each of us $5,000, including me. I cried. Even though I never minded my folks helping my siblings when they needed it, being included in this distribution, even though I didn’t ‘need’ it, somehow validated that I was as loved as the others. When they died, the estate was divided equally among all of us. You are right when you say parents have the right to distribute their wealth as they

The Color Of Money From an objective view, your parents’ wills could be unfair and even meanspirited. But it’s your choice to carry resentment about the inequity. If you can’t let it go, you pay the price of a damaged spirit.