The Times Herald (Norristown, PA)
Depression
pitalized for 18 days following the birth of her first child, a daughter who is now 4. Her list of what not to say includes: “Is the baby healthy, though? Sleep when the baby sleeps” and “It’s just your hormones, it will pass.”
She suggests reaching out instead with: “You are a good parent. Those dark thoughts do not define you” and “You are allowed to put yourself first.”
Heidi McBain is a Flower Mound, Texas, therapist who specializes in maternal mental health. She struggled with postpartum anxiety herself after a miscarriage and went into therapy for grief and loss when she got pregnant again. The anxiety continued after the birth of her son, who is now 9.
Her what-to-say list is short and to the point: “How can I help?” Her do-not-utter list covers some common missteps: “Why would you need medication from your doctor? Are you sure this isn’t all in your head?”
Seeing a doctor is precisely what a woman should do if she fears the “baby blues” have crossed into more dangerous territory, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
The term “baby blues” is often used to describe “feelings of worry, unhappiness and fatigue that many women experience after having a baby,” the agency said. Up to 80 percent of mothers experience such feelings in a somewhat mild form, lasting a week or two and going away on their own.
Postpartum depression is when sadness and anxiety can be extreme and interfere with a woman’s ability to care for herself or her family, the institute said. It usually requires treatment.
“Finding a therapist who specialized in postpartum mood disorder and the right medication under supervision of a psychiatrist is what helped me get better. It’s an illness that needs professional treatment,” said Jen Schwartz, co-founder of the blog motherhood-understood.com.
Getting out of the house as a new mother suffering severe PPD can be a problem, said Carole Brody Fleet in Orange County, California. She suffered after the birth of her now 29-yearold daughter, at a time when fewer women were willing to speak out. Finding it difficult to leave the house, she received overthe-phone counseling from La Leche League.
“The most important step for me in treating PPD was understanding that reaching out for help was not a sign of weakness or failure as a new mother,” she said.
Dr. Adeeti Gupta, who founded Walk In GYN Care with two clinics in New York, has one sentence that loved ones should never let slip out: “Are you depressed and unhappy about being a mother?”