’Tis the season for marriage proposals

And no, the bride’s parents aren’t obligated to pay for the wedding

WASHINGTON >> Here’s a mantra to live by: Do what you can afford.

Of course, that’s easier said than done — especially where your children are concerned and particularly when it comes to weddings.

There are so many emotions wrapped up in wedding planning that affordability can get tossed aside like a garter at the reception.

Such was the issue for a father who wrote me with concerns about paying for his daughter’s wedding.

“As a father, I want to do all I can for my three daughters, who will one day get married,” wrote Chris from South Carolina. “One of my daughters is a big fan of the television shows ‘Four Weddings’ and ‘Say Yes to the Dress.’ Although her dreams are ‘big,’ her budget (and ours) is not.”

His daughter’s boyfriend recently asked for her hand in marriage. The boyfriend is planning to propose in December. Now this father dreads the coming conversation about he and his wife’s contribution to the cost of the nuptials.

“I realize that the marriage is so much more than the wedding day, but many young people (and older folks for that matter) mortgage their future for temporary events,” he said. “My main goal is to save for our retirement, which is about eight to 10 years away. We are willing to provide some funds — with a goal of giving them possibly $3,000 to $5,000 — but have no plans to take money from our [retirement] accounts or go into credit debt. How can we help them financially?”

The timing of this question coincides with a survey by WeddingWire about proposal season. The survey found

MONEY >> PAGE 2

The Color Of Money