Many people pay a high price to be an unpaid caregiver

WASHINGTON >> We talk about the joys of caregiving, but it can take an emotional and financial toll on even the most loving person.

In September, I fell and fractured my right foot in two places. I’m mobile now, but for a few weeks I couldn’t do much for myself. It was torture lying there waiting for help. It was a preview of what it might be like should I need long term-care assistance when I can no longer do basic activities such as eating, dressing and bathing.

This is the second of a twopart series on caregiving. I first looked at why your loved one may not be so receptive to your caregiving. In this installment, I’d like to address the issues caregivers face.

AARP conducted a study among family caregivers to determine their expenses. The report estimated that family caregivers spent an average of about $7,000 per year on out-of-pocket costs related to caregiving in 2016. Some caregivers spent much more — often at the expense of their own financial well being.

The report found that caregivers are spending nearly 20 percent of their income assisting those under their care.

Meanwhile, The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research also has studied the cost of caregiving. Currently, 40 percent of Americans have experience providing longterm care to an older family member or friend.

For the majority of caregivers with incomes of less than $50,000, helping care for a relative creates a significant financial burden. The survey found that 25 percent have reduced how much they save for their own retirement. Some borrowed to cover caregiving expenses.

There’s a video every caregiver should watch that was put out by AARP and The Ad Council a few years ago. Search on YouTube for “Caregiving: Ad Council PSA — Silent Scream.” Watch the 32-second version of the ad, which captures overwhelmed caregivers silently screaming. It’s an acknowledgment that caregivers want to help but can still get frustrated with the job.

I tear up every time I watch the video. It ends with a link to aarp.org/caregiving. On the site you’ll find a link to a “Prepare to Care Guide.”

The guide, offered in several languages, suggests five steps to better caregiving.

• Talk it out. It can’t be said enough how important it is to have candid conversations before there’s a crisis that leads to a caregiving situation. And once you’re in it, be honest about your feelings.

There were times during my recovery that I felt I was a burden.

My eldest child, who is living at home while she finishes graduate school, was very helpful. But each time she assisted me I would apologize. I must have said, “I’m sorry,” a thousand times. Finally, my daughter asked me to just stop it. She

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