Parent-teacher conferences reveal unfortunate patterns

It’s parent-teacher conference time at schools across the land and I’m here to share the two unfortunate rules of thumb that teachers like myself understand about this exercise.

First, mostly it’s the stronger students’ parents who’ll show up. They’re a joy, but you really need to see the parents of the kids who are struggling. Second, teachers too often dispense advice that only those with college educations and middle-class lifestyles could hope to follow through on.

Think about it: Teachers almost always ask parents to read with their children, overlooking the fact that, in some instances, the parents themselves can’t read. I’ve had parents tell me straight out, “I’m illiterate,” in which case I tell them not to worry — just have the kids read to you and not the other way around. My goodness, if harried parents who are working two or three jobs don’t deserve a simple, soothing bedtime story themselves, I don’t know who does.

Lots of teachers tell parents that they should “work on” their kids’ spelling words, or addition facts, or multiplication tables as if the students who need remediation in these areas are arriving home to the smell of freshly baked cookies served by a smiling, English- and math-fluent caregiver who has the time to sit beside a child and guide them through practice before or after serving a hot, nutritious dinner.

Usually, whether it’s reading or math that’s a concern, I ask parents to just talk with their kids.

Converse. Ask them about their favorite show, who the characters are, where it’s set, what time period, what happens, who are the “good guys” and the “bad guys,” what happened first, next and last in the most recent episode they watched. These are the basic components of reading comprehension and narrative writing, and you can’t go wrong with making this sort of structured talk a part of your relationship.

For that matter, conversations like this are also fundamental to mathematics these days. Parents of grown children would hardly recognize elementary school math. It’s often esoteric and abstract compared with the simplistic work a generation ago of memorizing “times tables” and using pie or pizza as the standard metaphor for fractions.

I suggest families talk with kids about real, everyday math — changes in the temperature, how measurements work as food is cooked, the passage of time, how money changes as it’s being forked over. Regular, practical stuff that anyone can do at nearly any time and will help students see that math is everywhere, not just during my class and in a workbook.

Lately, though, in addition to giving tips on academics, I’ve found myself suggesting to some parents that they consider taking their children to the doctor. I sometimes feel uncomfortable doing this because not all families have medical assistance at their disposal. Maybe they have insurance but can’t get to a doctor because of a lack of transportation or time off of work. Many in my area just don’t have insurance at all.

In this month’s issue of the journal Pediatrics, researchers from the American Academy of Pediatrics write that caregivers should consider academic struggles as a symptom of a possible underlying medical condition:

“Pediatricians care not only for an increasingly diverse population of children who may have behavioral, psychological, and learning difficulties but also for increasing numbers of children with complex and chronic medical problems that can affect the development of the central nervous system and can present with learning and academic concerns.”

A broader recognition of how underlying health conditions can impact a child’s education could certainly deepen the homeschool connection.

And imagine a world in which all U.S. public school students have truly ready access to highquality medical care — and how the test scores would soar. If only.