Colliton

ment of children as executors or powers of attorney?

Here are some ideas.

Arguments in Favor of Full Disclosure

• Avoid Surprises. Where reasonable explanations can be given, it may make it easier for children to accept decisions they know in advance.

• It might force you to rethink. Maybe the children collectively will have better ideas. Maybe the person you want to appoint does not want the job or maybe a child could be more generous in sharing than you think.

• Adjust expectations. If you are deducting for lifetime gifts and loans to even the inheritance among children, you might let the affected child know in advance there is a deduction.

• Explain your reasoning. Unfortunately, many children believe that unequal inheritances mean that his or her parent loved one more than the other. If there are other reasons, you have the opportunity to explain.

• Anticipate disclaimers. Someone might disclaim his or her inheritance — not likely but possible.

• Promote family harmony. Brief discussions over time with different family members could help to arrive at consensus.

If your family members get along well and understand their issues and responsibilities, this can be an ideal time to open up. If not, well, full disclosure can result in unfortunate conversations and friction.

Arguments against disclosure

Some estate planners feel that disclosure in advance is a terrible mistake and would only initiate arguments and hostility well in advance of death or disability.

Here are some thoughts.

First, much depends on the family and on the type of information that would be shared. Sharing information in an already deeply divided family can deepen animosities. On the other hand, where the family has already worked well together, open discussion can clear the air and define roles. Nurses and doctors are often chosen as health care agents while accountants and business managers might be named financial powers. This might be right but does not always work out that way.

Note that, where there is concern that someone might be left out, that person could still be named as a remote successor or second or third “backup” so that he or she feels he is still part of the overall picture. In most cases, even distribution of assets seems to work best to avoid conflict.

If someone has made extra contributions in terms of time and services, that can be covered during lifetime by a written family agreement where payments can be made as the services or contributions are being given rather than waiting until you die. This type of written agreement when properly handled can also protect against Medicaid claims of “gifting.”

Janet Colliton, Esq. is a Certified Elder Law Attorney and limits her practice to elder law, retirement and estate planning, Medicaid, Medicare, life care and special needs at 790 East Market St., Suite 250, West Chester, Pa., 19382, 610-436-6674, colliton@ collitonlaw.com. She is a member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys and, with Jeffrey Jones, CSA, cofounder of Life Transition Services LLC, a service for families with long term care needs. Tune in on Wednesdays at 4 p.m. to radio WCHE 1520, “50+ Planning Ahead,” with Janet Colliton, Colliton Elder Law Associates, and Phil McFadden, Home Instead Senior Care.