Breaking point

Even though it has been proven scientifically that we function better if selfcare is a part of the equation, why is it still so hard for us to prioritize that?

It’s especially important at a time in our lives when many of us expect so much of ourselves as we’re caught in this hyper state of working, parenting and living.

Our bodies are whispering to us that it’s not sustainable, so frankly, we need to start listening or pay the price, according to Jeff Laubach, a licensed professional counselor in West Lawn.

“The cultural norm has become that we must continually be pushing and bettering ourselves, but there is a cost if you don’t balance that with down time,” Laubach said.

It would help if we readily grasped the concept that taking care of ourselves is not a luxury, but a necessity

“We need to teach people where there is a point of diminishing return,” he said. “You do end up on the cliff edge and realize, ‘This is not where I want to be.’ ”

Continuing down a path that doesn’t include self-care increases one’s potential to reach a breaking point. Laubach warned what the outcome could look like, and it equates to our body putting on the brakes.

“Sooner or later your body will do whatever it needs to do to get your attention,” he said. “We get depressed or sick or we have heart disease — we have all these things that stress is a leading contributor to.”

However, according to Laubach, if we are proactive, we increase our chances of avoiding this path.

“It would be nice to see the cliff coming,” he said. “We can push ourselves for a couple of hours or a day, but when it becomes the norm, you become blind to the toll it has taken on you.”

How did we get to this point? Laubach said that the competitive nature of today’s society has played into things.

“It always needs to be better, start younger, do more of, practice more, be the best we can be,” he said. “We are always comparing ourselves to somebody else, something else and how can we do this better.”

Challenges at prioritizing self-care

When someone gets to the point where they seek counseling from Laubach, the topic of self-care is typically high on his agenda of things to discuss.

“We discuss, ‘What are you doing for you to take care of yourself?’ ” he said.

Laubach admitted that he also has challenges at prioritizing self-care.

“We really aren’t good at it,” he said. “I think, generally speaking, we do a really good job of caring for other people, but we sometimes don’t show ourselves the same compassion we show someone else.”

In some cases, when the topic of self-care is brought up with a client, a light switch will flip.

“It could have been days, weeks, months or a year since they have done anything for themselves, but they know what to go back to,” he said.

In most cases, however, clients don’t know where to begin, so Laubach helps them figure out where to carve out the time and what to do with it.

“I think more people struggle with, ‘What is it I should do when I have no free time?’ ” he said. “You can’t even go to the bathroom by yourself some days if you have kids, so they are wondering, ‘Where am I going to find time to do something for me?’ ”

A misconception is that self-care means using time and money for something like a massage or checking into a spa for the day.

“Hey, if you have the time and money to go for a massage or yoga, great, but sometimes you could take 60 seconds to look at some pictures from the last vacation you took with your kids or get up and take a quick walk around the block,” Laubach said.

Self-care is more about the little stuff we can do daily that doesn’t cost anything that should be enjoyable.

“It’s more, ‘What can I do a couple times a day to check in with myself and give myself a chance to take a break and think about something else?’ ” he said

Other self-care ideas include making yourself a cup of hot tea and sitting down to savor every sip; going to the library to get a book and carving out time every day to read; and setting time aside for meditation, daily devotions or prayer.

“These are great examples of taking a moment to figure out what I need for the day and how do I give myself that,” he said. “All those things that don’t take a lot of time or money and they still help us take care of ourselves.”

If you’re struggling as to how to get started with a self-care plan, according to Laubach, start by checking in with three foundational aspects to make sure they are intact.

“When I talk to people, one of the first three things I ask is how is your sleep, exercise and nutrition?” he said.

What Leinbach sees consistently when he attends professional conferences is the difference these factors can make.

“Those are all a huge part in how we take care of ourselves that many of use put on the back burner when life gets busy,” he said.

Reap rewards

A renewed approach to life that factors in selfcare enables you to reap rewards that can positively impact your life, your work and time with the kids.

“I think if we look at the research, we know that when we take care of ourselves, we are happier, healthier, more compassionate with ourselves and other people, and we are more productive,” he said.

Making more time for yourself day to day will be beneficial for more than just you. You will also be a good role model for your kids.

“Kids model what they see, so if you are a parent, you can pass these skills onto your children by setting a good example,” he said. “Or you can do it with them — a five minute walk can be good for them, too.”