Planning Ahead

As time moves on you might have a falling out or estrangement with one or more of your children. I often see parents and children reconciling later on but sometimes change can be permanent. Remember if you take someone out of your will you can add him or her back in — or maybe not.

If you become sick, could your spouse handle everything? Or if your spouse becomes ill do you know enough about the finances to handle them alone. Where dementia becomes a problem the standard practice of naming your spouse as your executor or agent under a power of attorney might need to be reconsidered. Someone else, possibly a trusted child, might need to step in.

Where one of your children is acting as power of attorney will she or he know enough how to use money wisely or will they spend money foolishly, maybe recklessly. Will they know when to ask for help if they do not know what to do?

These are all choices and they can change. You can revoke powers of attorney or replace them with others. You can change your mind.

If you have only two children many parents agonize over who should serve or should both children serve together. While there are not many “rules” in deciding, one common factor is parents should not appoint two children who fail to get along hoping that working together will cause them to become closer. Results can be disastrous in some cases.

No one is the perfect agent under financial power of attorney or health care power. No one is the perfect executor and there is no test to prove one way or another. This may mean the cure for indecision is indeed to decide but remember you can change your mind.

Decision making can be risky and sometimes frightening but this is the saving factor. You can always change your mind.

If the circumstances under which you appointed someone as executor or power of attorney change, you can change the documents. Often I see decision makers almost paralyzed by the possibility they could make a mistake. I would advise almost everyone, actually everyone, makes mistakes. This is why there is the possibility of rewrite.

The documents you prepare are intended to protect and cradle you through the difficult periods of your life. They are not intended to limit you. If you look at it this way, decision making with estate documents should make it easier, not more stressful.

Janet Colliton, Esq. is a Certified Elder Law Attorney and limits her practice to elder law, retirement and estate planning, Medicaid, Medicare, life care and special needs at 790 East Market St., Suite 250, West Chester, Pa., 19382, 610-436-6674Call via Mitel , colliton@ collitonlaw.com. She is a member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys and, with Jeffrey Jones, CSA, cofounder of Life Transition Services LLC, a service for families with long term care needs. Tune in on Wednesdays at 4 p.m. to radio WCHE 1520, “50+ Planning Ahead,” with Janet Colliton, Colliton Elder Law Associates, and Phil McFadden, Home Instead Senior Care.