This trailblazer truly was ‘tough as nails’

When you hear the term tough as nails, you probably think of a professional football player or a member of a motorcycle gang. You think about big muscles, rough demeanor and dominating presence.

But as for me, my experience at the retirement community where I work has taught me that the toughest of people are none of the above. It’s not about physical characteristics, how much weight you can bench press or how fast you can run the mile; it’s about strength of character. It comes from within.

So many times, I have seen strength come with age. It’s defined by resilience, moral fortitude and the ability to overcome just about any dire circumstance.

Over the past 17 years, I’ve met many heroic WWII veterans, people who survived the Great Depression, even several who survived the Spanish flu back in 1918! I’ve encountered military service men and women and housewives, pilots and engineers, even professional athletes. All heroes to me. All tough as nails.

But one woman stands out in my mind. She was 98 years old. She was the epitome of wit, resilience and intelligence and always found a way. Born in Philadelphia in 1922, she was a trailblazer. No, she didn’t discover the cure for cancer or leap tall buildings in a single bound. But she was a superhero in her own right.

She was a wife and a mother. She stretched the dollars to clothe and feed six kids, who ranged in age from a few years to teenagers. No small feat in the ’40s, ’50s and ’60s. She was tough as nails.

She had the gift of music and instilled this love into all her children. She studied music from a young age and played the piano. She studied voice and sang in choirs for many years. Her passion for music was contagious, and she shared this gift of song along her journey through life. She always had a song in her heart.

She was educated and strong, and she was a fearless inspiration. Many were the obstacles that came her way, but she conquered each one in stride … family sickness, caregiving, heartbreak, financial struggles and a mountain of responsibility. But she persevered because she was tough as nails.

Nothing overwhelmed her. She faced every obstacle with calm, persistence and a great sense of humor. That indeed was her superpower. She had an incredible wit and an uncanny ability to make everyone smile.

In later years, she lived alone, continuing as an esteemed matriarch of an ever-growing extended family. The ensuing generations looked to her for guidance. Independent and ever strong, she remained — tough as nails. Time took its toll, her eyesight began to dim, arthritis took away her ability to play her beloved piano. Did it get her down? Nope! Why? You guessed it. She was tough as nails. This 110-pound woman was stronger than anyone I know.

We often took her out to breakfast. She was always funny and sharp, and the puns usually flew by. She was a coffee drinker, a woman after my own heart! But when she ordered, she would always tell the waitress, “But just half a cup,” And she meant it!

Then, not long after, she would order the second half. It made no sense to me. But then she explained — by ordering just half, she was guaranteed a nice hot cup of coffee all the way through. Then, when she was ready, she would order the second cup, and once again have a nice hot cup of coffee. It never had the chance to get cold.

There is a wonderful lesson in that. Having your cup half full is the best outlook on life. Enjoy everything in moderation, at a slow pace. There will be time for that second half-cup, just savor the first to the fullest.

She passed away just shy of her 99th birthday. In her final days, though oxygen-dependent, she managed to maintain that famous sense of humor. Through her bravery, she strengthened her family in the hardest of moments. During her short stay in the hospital, a nurse asked if she had worked outside the home when her kids were young.

She replied, “I was a call girl.”

The nurse paused, not quite sure how to answer — our heroine had to explain that she worked for the phone company on a switchboard. Still making people laugh, still tough as nails, to the end.

If you have anyone like this in your life, and most of us do, embrace them. Learn from them. Thank them. Take a page from their book and run with it. Keep your sense of humor always. Enjoy life and appreciate each day. But most of all, be tough as nails.

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