When it comes to Trump and North Korea, I’m at Threat Level Bourbon
What I’m most worried about these days is trying to figure out exactly how worried I should be about the Trump — er, I mean, the North Korean threat.
Let’s use the old Bush II-era terrorist threat level assessments to try and game this out.
GREEN: I don’t feel green. I never feel green. Gosh, I mean, this computer I’m typing on could explode and kill me. Who knows? I fear falling pianos. I’ll be at threat level green when I’m dead.
BLUE: This stood for “guarded.” This is my general feeling during REM sleep. So no. Not blue.
YELLOW: Meh. I don’t look good in yellow, so let’s just skip ahead to …
ORANGE: I mean, this is just writing itself now, right? I’ve made no bones about my fears of Donald Trump. We all know I’ve written about my distaste for him numerous times. Orange feels right. Orange is where I’m at. I’m at orange. I need a bourbon. Or three.
RED: Yeah even I’m not at red yet. That’s when you’ll find me neckdeep in the Maker’s Mark instead of three fingers for steadying purposes.
Truth be told, I am very concerned. And quite frankly, I saw this coming. Look back at my “predictions for 2017” column. This was #2: “The presidency of Donald Trump will not be a complete disaster. I expect the economy to grow. So that’s good. But I also expect numerous global showdowns and far too much talk about nuclear weapons. Russia is going to test us, and North Korea is going to test us. Does Trump have what it takes to settle things diplomatically? I hope.”
Ya gotta admit: I nailed that one. (I also predicted the Mets will disappoint. I’m like Nostraedelstein over here.)
So here we are: President Donald Trump — who, to put it mildly, is a bit of a wild card — staring down Kim Jong Un, who everyone says is crazy, but what do we know. What is clear is we have two megalomaniacs — and I use that term literally — playing with nuclear war, and that ain’t cool.
Now I will say this about Trump: At least he’s doing something. The last few presidents have not been able to get North Korea to stop with the nuclear weapons. So while I don’t agree with Trump’s tactics, I do give him credit for … well, trying? I guess?
But I worry. I don’t trust the president. I don’t trust most politicians, but Trump is in a league of his own on that score. Simple as that. (For real: Even if you’re a huge Trump supporter, would you buy a used car from him? Really? Forget he’s Donald Trump, he’s just some guy who looks and sounds and acts like him. You trust he didn’t roll the odometer back?)
Another related worry: Trump is a wildly unpopular president. According to Nate Silver and gang at FiveThirtyEight.com, his approval rating is at 37 percent. Even the polls that swing right traditionally have him no higher than 45 percent approval rating. This is lowest approval rating after six months of any president in the last 70 years, or roughly since modern polling began.
And what’s the quickest way to gain popularity as a president? The most surefire way to whip the American people into a patriotic froth? War.
Now is Trump vain enough to start a war just for the ratings? Even I don’t think he’s that depraved. But if this tough talk, this fire and fury frenzy results in higher poll numbers, I’d certainly expect it to continue.
What I hope is happening is that Trump is waging war by trying to be the biggest swinging youknow-what in the room. And maybe it will work. Maybe the threat of Trump actually striking first with a nuke will be secret sauce that gets North Korea to snap in line.
I’m not holding my breath. I understand there are bad actors in this world, and I understand *something* needs to be done about North Korea. I can only hope Trump has what it takes — as I hoped back in December — to be able to get through this diplomatically. Nuclear war cannot be an option.
I wish we had a steady hand at the wheel. I fear we don’t.
I really think I’m going to need some bourbon.
Jeff Edelstein is a columnist for The Trentonian. He can be reached at jedelstein@trentonian.com, facebook.com/jeffreyedelstein and @ jeffedelstein on Twitter.