Edelstein: On the War on Christmas that never was
So at the latest JAM (Jews, Atheists, and Muslims) strategy meeting concerning the ongoing War on Christmas, General Faaiz Goldstein told us to make sure to answer “I will not!” when someone wishes us a “Merry Christmas.”
It’s been working out well so far. At least 43 Christians have been properly offended and …
OK I’ll stop now. I already expect my email account to bubble over with anger, and there’s probably a 10 percent chance there will be a Facebook post linking to this article saying something like, “FAKE MEDIA JEW ADMITS TO WAR ON CHRISTMAS.”
‘Tis the season and all.
The so-called War on Christmas annoys me, mostly because saying there’s a “war on Christmas” is about as accurate as saying there’s a “war on oxygen.” It’s just not true. Over 92 percent of Americans celebrate Christmas, according to a Pew Research study, while only 70 percent of Americans identify as Christian.
That’s some war. If anything, it’s a non-war. Seriously: There are roughly 100 million Americans who are not Christian, and of those, about 80 million celebrate Christmas in some form or another. There is a Non-War on Christmas, though I will admit “Non-War on Christmas” doesn’t really move the FOX News needle.
Of course, the whole idea of the “war on Christmas” stems from the fact government and businesses have started, in recent decades, moving away from use of the word “Christmas” and toward the word “holiday.” This upsets many people for reasons I don’t understand.
Here’s my take on it, since you asked: Government entities should leave Christmas — and all other religious stuff — at the door. Separation of church and state? OK fine, but we can debate that until forever. My take is simpler and cleaner: If my tax dollars are subsidizing it, then no religion. So yep, that means no Nativity scene (or menorah) at city hall. Give me Santa and lights and we’re good. Why? Because once we let religion in the door, the slope gets slippery. It certainly opens up the door for the Satanists to demand equal time, and we don’t need that. We can certainly celebrate the festive aspect of the season without dragging the Big Guy into it.
For the record, this also applies to our money (I see no need to bring God into my bankroll) and certainly the Pledge of Allegiance in schools, which, I’m fond of noting, was written by a Baptist minister and did not include the words “under God.” Those words were inserted by Congress some 70 years after the fact.
And as for business? I don’t care if Macy’s has a live Nativity scene, has their cashiers wishing me a “Merry Christmas,” and has priests blessing me as I walk out the door. It’s a private business, they can do as they please. The fact they choose to play it a little lighter on the religious angle simply demonstrates market research.
Since I’ve cleared that up, let’s move on to personal greetings. Of course, now that Donald Trump is president, we can say “Merry Christmas” again. But there’s still quite a debate over what we should say to strangers, co-workers, and other people who flit in and out of our lives.
Should we say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays?”
Welp, either is fine. When someone wishes me a “Merry Christmas,” I usually punch them in the kidney and ... I’m kidding again so settle with the angry emails already.
No, when someone wishes me a “Merry Christmas” I not only feel happy on the inside, but I then respond in kind. You have to be a real jackass to have any other reaction. It’s just a nice thing to say to somebody. Plus, it’s borderline mindless automatic this time of year. It just comes out. It’s like when you say, “you too!” after someone tells you to have a good vacation. Can’t help it.
As far as “Happy Holidays?” That’s swell also, mostly because at this time of year we’re celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yule, a million other things, and the New Year. It’s an accurate thing to say.
But let’s take it one step further … What if Christmas was celebrated at a different time of year? After all, many historical and religious scholars place Jesus’s birth sometime between mid-September and early October. So what if that’s when we celebrated Christmas? Then what?
Then this: Everyone would be saying “Merry Christmas” in October, as it would be the only holiday at that time of year. There would be no “Happy Holidays.” Would only be “Merry Christmas.” There would be no discussion.
So what would we say this time of year in the above scenario? Simple. We’d say, “have a happy new year.” We’d be having “new year’s office parties.” Because while they are lovely holidays, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa aren’t exactly “92 percent” holidays. So yes: If Christmas was celebrated at a different time of year, we probably wouldn’t even be having this conversation.
So with all that said, allow me to simply, and with all my heart, say this: I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas.
And if you’re part of the eight percent of America who passes on Christmas? Have a happy new year. See? Simple.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to start getting angry about this “Saint” Valentine’s Day nonsense.
Jeff Edelstein is a columnist for The Trentonian. He can be reached at jedelstein@trentonian.com, facebook.com/jeffreyedelstein and @jeffedelstein on Twitter.