Oprah for president? Sure, but let’s not sleep on Ricki Lake
So Oprah Winfrey gives a rousing speech at the Golden Globes last week and before you can say “You get a night in the Lincoln bedroom, you get a night in the Lincoln bedroom, EVERYBODY GETS A NIGHT IN THE LINCOLN BEDROOM!!!” speculation about an Oprah 2020 — excuse me, speculation about an #Oprah2020 — run exploded on the Internet.
Things got crazy. The official NBC Twitter account posted a picture of Oprah with the following words: “Nothing but respect for OUR future president.” (BTW NBC, thanks for setting the “there’s no left-wing media bias”-o-meter back to negative infinity. Anyway …)
Anyway, the idea of Oprah as president does have its appeal to me. I mean, I think Trump is legit nuts. And Oprah - say what you will - does not come across as nuts. She comes across as someone decent and intelligent. Of course, to me, Animal from “The Muppet Show” would be preferable to Trump right now, so maybe I’m not the best person to ask.
And let’s not kid ourselves - if Oprah decided to run, she’d be a force. The woman is beloved by wide swaths of America. She’d probably win against almost any other candidate. (BTW: This column is running on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Can you imagine what the idea of a black woman president must’ve looked like in the 1960’s? Like science fiction, I bet.)
But really: Would Oprah make a good president? Who knows. The world’s gone bananas, so you know, why not. Though a word of caution (and some frivolity, before the angry right-wing emails start): Before we go and anoint Oprah as the Democrats best hope in 2020, maybe we should check the roster of a few other talk show hosts from the 1980s and make sure we’re not leaving any stone unturned.
Jerry Springer
PROS: Actually has political experience as the mayor (and as a councilman) of Cincinnati. Objectively funny and would inject some much-needed levity into the highest office in the land.
DIDJA KNOW: Admitted to hiring a prostitute back in 1974, causing him to resign from his council seat. But he ran again the next year and won.
CONS: I honestly can’t think of one, besides the fact he was born in England and thus ineligible from becoming president.
Sally Jessy Raphael
PROS: Would have the best presidential eyewear since Teddy Roosevelt’s monocle.
DIDJA KNOW: Can speak Spanish fluently.
CONS: Would be 85 when elected. Too old.
Ricki Lake
PROS: Just seems like a fun gal.
DIDJA KNOW: At 24, she was the youngest person to ever host a talk show.
CONS: Is she really all that?
Phil Donahue
PROS: Actually appears to be smart and even-keeled.
DIDJA KNOW: “The Phil Donahue Show” is the longestrunning talk show in American history. CONS: Seems like a weenie.
Morton Downey Jr.
PROS: Tells it like it is. With Morton, you always know where you stand. Would always take a hard stance, and if you don’t like it, tough cookies.
DIDJA KNOW: He used to be a singer, peaking on the Billboard Country charts in 1981 at #95 with “Green Eyed Girl.”
CONS: He’s currently dead, which all things considered makes him a fantastic candidate. Four years of a dead guy might be a nice respite for the country.
And of course …
Oprah Winfrey
PROS: Legitimately one of the most well-known, wellliked, and powerful people in the world. Would certainly up America’s Q Score.
DIDJA KNOW: Her name, on her birth certificate, is actually “Orpah,” named after a Biblical figure. But everyone pronounced it as “Oprah,” and that was the end of that.
CONS: We’d be electing another entertainment personality to the White House. What’s next? A Timberlake/Bieber ticket in 2028?