LAYING THE SMACKDOWN
The best, worst and bizarre from the high school wrestling season
It’s always interesting to see how people who are mentioned in our annual year-ending wrestling Slammies will react.
Many of them have a sense of humor and self confidence to laugh. Others may not like it, but figure bad publicity is better than no publicity at all.
And then there’s are the people who get all worked up and go around whining like little babies. To this last group we dedicate this year’s Slammies and offer the sound advice that maybe it’s time for you to go take a long look in the mirror.
Without any further ado: Here’s the best, worst and most bizarre of another high school wrestling season:
ALLEGORY OR THE YEAR » When the PA announcer in Atlantic City states told the crowd not to park on a certain street because parts of the crumbling Trump Plaza facade were falling off and smashing on the pavement. You couldn’t help but wonder if this was a reference to what’s also happening to the country as a whole.
NO LOVE LOST AWARD I » It’s unclear how this got started, but don’t expect Phillipsburg’s Dave Post and Voorhees’ Eric Hall to share a cold one in the near future. First, Hall banned P-Burg from the Voorhees’ JV tournament. Next, Hall showed up at a match at Phillipsburg with only 10 wrestlers while leaving many of his starters at home. It should go without saying Voorhees and the Liners will not be wrestling each other again in the near future.
NO LOVE LOST AWARD II » Rarely does a year go by when the Karam brothers don’t have some kind of blow up. Jeff Karam is the coach of Bethlehem Catholic and the archdiocese in that area declared boys are not allowed to wrestle girls. When Jeff Karam’s team wrestled Jody Karam’s Bethlehem Liberty team, Jody sent out a girl to take what had to be a forfeit win and Jeff was furious. We guess this is better than the time the Karams threw darts at each other or one threw his brother’s jacket in the fire at Thanksgiving.
DUMB AND DUMBER AWARD » To the Burlington County team that jubilantly celebrated along its bench as the clock wound down in the final bout because it knew it would win a tied match by the criteria of most six-pointers. There was only one slight problem: The other team won eight bouts.
CHICKENS BEFORE THEY HATCH AWARD » To the Raritan assistant coach who congratulated a writer for picking his team to win groups after the Rockets built up a 25-6 lead against High Point: There was only one slight problem: Raritan lost the last six bouts and the match, 30-25.
BEST IMPERSONATION OF A DRAG STRIP RACER » This goes to Howell assistant coach Rich “Southern Man’’ Giildner, who somehow managed to set his truck on fire while driving along I-195.
NICE TRY AWARD I » To former Brick Memorial coach “Diver’’ Dan O’Cone, who attempted to rationalize at Pt. Pleasant’s Jenks North Inlet bar to a Trentonian reporter what really happened with the infamous North Hunterdon weigh-in sheet scam and the slam against Phillipsburg. Looking on with amusement were Dean “The Chief’’ Albanese and Anton “The Litttle Lieutenant’’ Atterbury.
NICE TRY AWARD II » To the guy who “anonymously’’ posted on a forum how anyone with an “objective opinion’’ knows who would win a match between two wrestlers. It turned out the wrestler he said would win was his son. Now there’s an objective opinion.
NICE TRY AWARD III »
The state trying to ban coaches from bringing in their own food at the entrance in Atlantic City. All the coaches did was hand the food to their wrestlers, who then handed it back to their coaches once they were inside.
MOST BIASED RATINGS » The South Jersey-based website that seems to favor Paulsboro at every turn. It’s almost like a father of one of the Cough City wrestlers is running the thing.
FOUNTAIN OF MISINFORMATION AWARD I » The North Jersey-based media outlet that reported when two girls wrestled each other this year it might very well have been the first all-female bout in state history News flash! There have been plenty of all-girl bouts around the state for decades.
FOUNTAIN OF MISINFORMATION AWARD II » The North Jersey-based media outlet that said Region I was being held at New Milford when it was actually at West Milford. Look at the bright side, at least it didn’t report the region was in the Milford in Hunterdon County or Milford, Pa.
SNAFU OF THE YEAR » When Voorhees held a celebration after one of its wrestlers won his 100th career bout. There was only one small problem: It was actually his 99th career win. Here’s where it get better. Voorhees then planned another celebration for its next match, but the wrestler suffered an upset loss and remained on 99. OK, how about having a celebration at the next match. That would have worked except the wrestler would have received a forfeit and didn’t want to win his 100th in that fashion. One full week and three matches later, he got his 100th win QUICKEST EXIT » Rutgers’ Scott Goodale sprinting out the door in Toms River like a fire alarm had gone off when asked if he wanted a Slammy this year.
NO RESPECT AWARD I » To Delaware Valley, which somehow got lured into participating in Phillipsburg’s “Return to the Pit’’ night. Not only did Del-Val get blasted, 64-6, but it agreed to wear special t-shirts Phillipsburg provided for the special occasion. The Stateliners, meanwhile, didn’t bother to put on the shirts at all.
NO RESPECT AWARD II » To the people who voted Holmdel ahead of Delaware Valley in the Region V final top 10. Holmdel? Is that the same Holmdel team that beat Nottingham by four points?
WHAT’S IN A NAME AWARD I» To the PA address announcer at states who called West Windsor-Plainsboro High School West Windsor-Plainfield South. And while we are on the subject, South Plainfield is not South Rainfield, JFK Iselin is not JFK Iceland and media award winner Mike Weilamann is not Mike Willamin.
WHAT’S IN A NAME AWARD II » The season-opening Delaware Valley Tournament that appeared on Trackwrestling under the name of the “Andy Fitz Extravaganza.’’ Here’s betting a former North Hunterdon coach was behind that.
BIGGEST MYSTERY » Who exactly tinkered with the power points chart whereby teams are no longer rewarded as much for wrestling quality opponents. Nobody seems to have the answer, but you can be sure it was somebody from the Shore.
WORST PAYING JOB IN AMERICA » A real estate agent in boarded-up Paulsboro. Check out the listings. You can buy a four- bedroom house in Cough City for less than a used car. Paulsboro has gotten around the fact nobody wants to live there by simply importing half a team from other towns.
MOST CLUELESS I » The North Jersey based media outlet that reported the final score of a Cinnaminson sectional match as 23---
5. It takes a special kind of ignorance to not realize that was a partial score.
MOST CLUELESS II » The same North Jersey based media outlet that picked Pascack Valley to beat Delsea at groups. Huh?
BIGGEST HARM TO NEW JERSEY WRESTLING I » Group V. BIGGEST HARM TO NEW JERSEY WRESTLING II » The realignment of districts and regions. Last year there was sort of the feeling let’s give it a chance. Now, with the exception of some selfish coaches who are delighted to send a ridiculous amount of their own wrestlers to regions, everyone agrees it sucks. BIGGEST HARM TO WRESTLING PERIOD » Quad meets.
STEALING THE MONEY AWARD » The ref who got to work a match in South Jersey in which there were 11 forfeits and three pins in the first period.
BEST SCOREKEEPER » Howell’s Bella Ruocco.
MOST DECEIVING RECORD » Brick Memorial padding its win total by wrestling teams like Hamilton (3-18) and Notre Dame (520).
INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU AWARD » Allentown’s Mitch Nock, who managed to mystify North Hunterdon by having one of the Lion wrestlers DQ’d during weigh-ins for skin issues.
MOST POORLY RUN EVENT » The season-opening Battle of he Bay at Bayonne in which there were no officials for weigh-ins or skin checks. Oh, well, unlike the district at Ramapo last year at least there was a scale on hand.
MOST COMICAL AD » The one on the Big Ten Network in which it tries to project Jeff “Love Letters’’ Buxton as some sort of tough guy. The only thing tough about him was listening to him whine about how the Blair Admissions department didn’t give him even more high-powered recruits.
BIGGEST BACKSTAB » The time Jeff Buxton stole Steve Mocco from his “good friend’’ Mike “The Godfather’’ DiPiano at St. Benedict’s. By the way we ran into one of DiPiano’s sons at a Nutley girls soccer game a few years ago and he confirmed former ECW wrestler Balls Mahoney is, indeed, from Nutley.
BEST BLAST FROM THE PAST » The time Peddie’s Foley Dowd broke the leg of Blair’s Russian wrestler Marat Tomaev.
STILL THE BEST WRESTLER FROM HOWELL » The Peddie School’s Junior National champion Foley Dowd.
BIGGEST HYPOCRITES » The NJSIAA for giving Bergen Catholic and other parochials a special waver in terms of qualifying for sectionals despite the fact they didn’t meet the qualification for enough in-state matches. Where was the waver for High Point the year it was not allowed in groups for the same reason? It’s all about the NJSIAA being petrified by private schools because of their ability to hire lawyers.
MOST COMICAL I » Bergen Catholic accusing Blair of ducking some team from Illinois. Remember when Bergen Catholic used to duck teams like Phillipsburg before loading up on other school’s recruits?
MOST SUSPICIOUS REALIGNMENT » Point Pleasant Boro being shipped off to South Jersey Group II. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who benefited from that?
MOST DESERVING AWARD IN ATLANTIC CITY » Mike Weilamann receiving the annual outstanding achievement in media award. While on this subject, when is The Trentonian’s Phil “Don’t Call Me Full’’ Nelson going to be recognized?
MOST DESERVING AWARD » Former Hunterdon Central coach Steve Gibble being inducted into the Region V Hall of Fame: The settlement he will receive should come straight out of the wallets of the school board members and not the Hunterdon Central taxpayers.
BEST SHOW » Mark Trible and Matt Pack for their On the Mat show in South Jersey. The knowledge and analysis on this show completely obliterates the media outlet that shills for the NJSIAA and has no shameless low when it comes to generating Internet hits. One suggestion for the Matt Pack: How about a special guest appearance by “Irish’’ Mike Ahern to tell it like it is along with Ralph “The Little Renegade’’ Ross.
BIGGEST WASTE OF TIME » For the second straight year not a single No. 7 or 8 seed won a sectional match. Heck, one team made sectionals with a record of 2-14. It’s all about collecting entry fee, folks.
BIGGEST WASTE OF TIME IN AC I » When they handed Bergen Catholic a plaque for being named No. 1 in the state for the sixth straight year. Nobody was impressed or paid any attention. BIGGEST WASTE OF TIME IN AC II » The state finding a way to honor Carmel Morina for what seems like the 10th year in a row. Here’s an idea: Why not just
have a Carmel Morina award and every year give it to Carmel Morina.
MOST POPULAR RESULT AT STATES » When Ewing’s Lavinsky Collins beat a two-time finalist from Bergen Catholic in the quarterfinals.
BIGGEST COACHING MISMATCH » Ewing’s Matt Dallesio and Darren Basich against Bergen Catholic’s Dave Bell. It just goes to show what can happen when you develop talent as opposed to merely recruiting it.
MOST POPULAR RESULT AT GROUPS » When High Point rallied to beat Raritan in the Group II finals. Just hearing those annoying chants of “Green Machine’’ fade away was a relief in itself.
MOST DISAPPOINTING NO-SHOW I» Hunterdon Central assistant Leigh Hall failing to show at the Holiday Jacks softball reunion.
MOST DISAPPOINTING NO-SHOW II » Allentown coach Mitch Nock no longer posting any of his instructional videos on YouTube. Word is Cael Sanderson was planning on showing them to his Penn State wrestlers prior to this year’s nationals in Cleveland.
MOST RIDICULOUS RANKING I » The media outlet that had Watchung Hills ranked ahead of Hunterdon Central. Why? WORST CALL » The defensive pin called on a Northern Burlington wrestler at Region VI. Anyone who has seen the video of this debacle knows exactly what we are talking about.
BIGGEST PHONIES » Jefferson acting like it was a big deal when it beat rebuilding Delaware Valley on the 25th anniversary of “The Slam.’’ This came a year after Jefferson pulled out of a match at DelVal when it knew it was going it was going to get its butt kicked.
BEST QUOTE FROM THE PAST » When asked why he was coming out of retirement, former Peddie coach Keith “Hulk’’ Holcombe replied: “How many beers can you drink and how many women can you pick up.’’
MOST CONFUSING PRESENTATION » Tony “The Italian Stallion’’ Caravella being introduced at states as the 1990s Coach of the Century. Huh?
WORST SMELLING MAT » Allentown’s new mat in the match against Howell. It reeked like it had been cleansed with formaldehyde and people were choking in the foul air.
FUNNIEST MAT » The one in Atlantic City that had the words “Putting Essex County First’’ printed along the sides. Surely this didn’t refer to Essex County wrestling.
BIGGEST MYSTERY II » Did pieces of the Trump Plaza facade fall on the Delbarton van. Fans will recall last year Delbarton thought it could illegally park anywhere it wanted because it could recruit anyone it wanted.