I don’t want to see Toys R Us close down
My Uncle Dick was a nut. Puns aside, the man was slightly askew. Never married, but had a longtime girlfriend. Never worked, but drove a canary yellow Mercedes convertible. Always had a toothpick in his mouth. Prone to wearing turtlenecks and sports jackets. A gambler in the stock market. Often talked out of the side of his mouth.
All together, he would’ve been a great character in a Damon Runyon story.
And when I was a kid, it would be an exciting time if Uncle Dick was set to come and visit. Expectations were always tempered, because “dependable” was not a word one would use to describe him. He lived 30 minutes away, but I probably saw him only a few times a year.
But when he did show up … holy bananas. It was legit like Santa Claus coming, because he’d pull up, pop the trunk, and pull out two or three bags from Toys R Us.
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Toys R Us may be closing. As in, the end. As in, no more Toys R Us.
This, according to a Bloomberg report last week. The “struggling retail chain” (is there any other type of retail chain these days?) is deep in debt, might not be able to restructure their deals, and can’t find someone to buy them out.
Add it all up, and total liquidation is in the cards.
***** When I was a kid, getting to go to Toys R Us was the best. Forget going for yourself; that almost never happened. Just getting to go to shop for a friend’s birthday present was a treat. It’s hard to put into words a child’s reaction to being in the store. There’s really not an adult comparison.
Think about it: For kids, toys are everything. And there’s a store dedicated to all of that? Wow. “Star Wars” here, “He-Man” there, “G.I. Joe” down that way. Plus, girls’ toys, which I’ve only discovered since I had daughters.
For my kids, a surprise visit to Toys R Us holds the same allure as it did for me and tens of millions of other kids. It’s a treat, period, full stop.
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This has nothing to do with Toys R Us, but Uncle Dick would also play the following game: He’d take a bill out of his wallet and say “pick a number between zero and nine.” I’d pick a number, and then he’d fold the bill and put his thumb over the serial number, revealing a number at a time.
He played this game every time I saw him. Sometimes it would be a dollar bill. Sometimes a five. Once in a while, a hundred. If I picked the number, I got it. If my number wasn’t on the bill, back into his wallet. No second chances.
You no longer need to wonder why I enjoy gambling.
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I really, truly hope Toys R Us figures a way out of the mess they’re in. Yes, yes, I understand how business works, and sure, I realize online shopping is the way to go, and of course, I’ll sooner order something off Amazon than drive to Toys R Us, but still: This is a heartbreaker.
Taking Toys R Us away legit feels like an attack on childhood, both mine and my kids.
Shopping for toys in Walmart is not like shopping for toys at Toys R Us. At Walmart, mom can drag you to look at bras and toilet paper and area rugs and dehumidifiers and socket wrenches. At Toys R Us, the kids do the dragging.
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If Toys R Us goes under, there will be, by my count, zero nationwide toy stores in America. It could/should give a boost to independents, but while independent toy stores are great, they’re just not Toys R Us. Seriously. Think back to when you were a kid, think back to walking in a Toys R Us. It was massive. It was like the size of a small country. Endless. I hate to see it go.
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So yeah: Some of my best childhood memories are completely tied up with Toys R Us. I’m such a little consumerist, but so be it. Is there a petition we could sign? Can Trump get involved? Can we turn it into a non-profit? An America without Toys R Us upsets me. I hope they pull out of this.