Unity Gathering to remember homicide victims this weekend
News articles rarely delve into lives traumatized by violence, murder and crime.
Frequently, perpetrators of death receive more face time as they remain alive while victims leave us. An understanding exists here for parents of murdered children who find their offspring’s lives under social microscopes, as if someone had a right to take a life.
A United Mercer Interfaith Organization “Unity Gathering” event Sunday, May 6 provides an opportunity for healing as a prayer event allows insights about victims and family members left behind.
“After my son, Darryl was killed,” said Kim Ford, “well, I questioned everything I had done up to that time. Every decision made on my son’s behalf was turned over and inspected. I felt that I was to blame.”
Darryl Ford, 19, died on March, 11, 2015 when he and a couple of friends made a short drive around the corner to a convenience store.
“A gunman shot Daryll 11 times as he sat in the car near Hamilton and Ardmore,” Ford recalled. “You get that call or somebody knocks on your door with the news. It’s not something that you can plan for. It catches you off guard. The entire incident remains indescribable. And when it happens, you’re not prepared for the ramifications of death. It’s cataclysmic.”
Rev. Karen Hernandez-Granzen, pastor of Westminster Presbyterian Church, serves as moderator of the event. Hernandez-Granzen noted that family members of victims need healing and help.
“This prayer event seeks to offer comfort and support,” Hernandez-Granzen noted. “Frequently, we overlook the issues of victims and their families. The Unity Gathering humanizes the tragedies of people who are killed. We say every name. We invite every family member or friend of a victim to come and experience the support of Trenton and the greater Trenton community.”
Hernandez-Granzen said attendees also receive information about resources available to move people through the grieving process.
“The most important goal is to make sure that people know that these people who had their lives taken were sons or daughters, sisters and brothers, fathers and mothers. We can’t just write them off. We must never allow people to forget that they once walked amongst us,” Hernandez-Granzen said.
Kim Ford, a 1988 Trenton Central High graduate and 1992 graduate of Kean University, expressed despair and anger about events that occurred after her son’s murder.
“You always get the immediate questions about whether he was in a gang or sold drugs. Darryl did none of those things. He was an exceptional student who earned a reputation as someone who helped other people in need. Darryl represented a powerful force in our community,” Ford said.
Following the death of her son, Ford joined UMIO as a recipient of the group’s love, support and patience.
“It’s a process,” Ford offered. “You get up each day and find thanks in just that. UMIO has helped me in so many ways. I mean, to receive the genuine love and help from strangers? Well, that’s incredible. Some people live outside the city but they stand up for people who live in Trenton, understanding that people who have their lives taken... they had dreams and goals, too. There is that frustration when police investigated and despite people being in the area, nobody witnessed anything. Nobody heard anything. Nobody had any information.”
Ford has lost two men in her life through violence, including her son’s father, Darryl Boone, murdered in the Mercer County Correctional facility in 2013. Boone’s cellmate, Lamar Gaines, confessed to the murder and received a 25-year sentence.
The Unity Gathering takes place from 2 p.m. until 5 p.m. at Mill Hill Park and coincides with the National Prayer Day.
The interfaith ceremony will feature music, readings, commentary, and prayers. Music will begin at 2 p.m. which will allow families an opportunity to interact with others and avail themselves of information on support services they might find helpful. Speakers will make up the formal portion of the program from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m., followed by more music and refreshments.
Ford expects to join a list of speakers who offer remembrances of friends or relatives who died as victims.
“It’s a process,” Ford explained. “I’ve had to learn to forgive myself. I didn’t do anything wrong. Life happened and since my son’s death I’ve relied on UMIO and a personal faith. I’m going to speak about how wonderful my son was. Of course, every mother says that about their children. Bottom line? I thank God for the 19 years he gave me with Darryl. I will always remember his goodness.”
Ford intends to start a non-profit that remembers her son and seeks to impact the lives of children and teens. The Darryl Foundation (determined, ambitious, reliable, righteous, young leaders) will launch in the near future.
Family members who are interested in attending should contact Rev. Molly Dykstra at Covenant Presbyterian Church, cpctrenton. molly@gmail.com, 609.989.8282.
UMIO was formed in 2013 to foster interfaith action to help stem social violence and injustice in the Mercer County area and to enhance communication between the leadership of members of the faith community.