Col­lege stu­dent wants di­ag­no­sis

The Trentonian (Trenton, NJ) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY » Iama 20-year-old col­lege stu­dent. Af­ter at­tend­ing a lo­cal com­mu­nity col­lege for two years, I will be start­ing classes at a four-year school. I make ex­cel­lent grades, but I strug­gle with or­ga­ni­za­tion. My mother has ADD, and I am cer­tain that I also have it be­cause I dis­play all the symp­toms. How­ever, I have never been di­ag­nosed.

My mother pur­posely didn’t have me di­ag­nosed as a child be­cause she didn’t want me to feel like there was any­thing hold­ing me back. Now that I’m an adult, I keep won­der­ing if get­ting a di­ag­no­sis along with some men­tal and emo­tional sup­port might help me to be­come more or­ga­nized and suc­cess­ful in life. Any ad­vice would be ap­pre­ci­ated, along with any re­sources you might know of for peo­ple who have ADD or ADHD. — Anony­mous in the


DEAR ANONY­MOUS » Be­cause you feel that re­ceiv­ing a di­ag­no­sis would be help­ful, it’s time to be eval­u­ated by a men­tal health pro­fes­sional. If your col­lege has a stu­dent health cen­ter, that’s the place to start. If not, con­tact the psy­cho­log­i­cal as­so­ci­a­tion in your state about a re­fer­ral to a ther­a­pist who spe­cial­izes in pa­tients with adult at­ten­tion deficit dis­or­der. I wish you luck, be­cause there is help for it.

DEAR ABBY » My boyfriend and I have been dat­ing ca­su­ally for about five months. He is busy and is of­ten ter­ri­ble about re­turn­ing texts and phone calls. For his birth­day, I bought him a gift that I had put a lot of thought into. We made plans to have din­ner on his birth­day, but when the time came to pick me up, he didn’t show. Three hours af­ter the agreedupon time, he texted and can­celed.

My ques­tion is about the gift. It wasn’t extravagant, but I no longer have any in­ter­est in giv­ing it to him when we do fi­nally see each other (it’s been a week since he can­celed). Is it ac­cept­able to sim­ply pay for din­ner? I’m hurt and frustrated with him, and that doesn’t make me want to give him a gift.

— Hurt in Texas

DEAR HURT » If he had wanted to spend his birth­day with you, he would have shown up. One of the ways peo­ple show they care about each other is by re­turn­ing texts and ini­ti­at­ing phone calls. Be­cause your “boyfriend” hasn’t done that, as­sume that he is not as in­ter­ested in you as you are in him. Re­turn the gift, if pos­si­ble, and if he shows up again, do not buy the din­ner. Shame on him.

DEAR ABBY » When my wife shops for clothes, she of­ten re­turns some­thing for ex­change or re­im­burse­ment. Re­cently she bought an ar­ti­cle of cloth­ing and it shrank af­ter she washed it, so she re­turned it. To me that was in­ap­pro­pri­ate. I think af­ter a gar­ment is washed it be­longs to the buyer, and a re­turn is wrong. Or am I wrong?

— Re­turned in the East

DEAR RE­TURNED » Per­son­ally, I agree with you — un­less the item was sup­posed to be shrink-re­sis­tant. How­ever, be­cause the re­tailer was will­ing to ex­change it or re­im­burse your wife, it ap­pears we are mis­taken.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www. or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Abby shares more than 100 of her fa­vorite recipes in two book­lets: “Abby’s Fa­vorite Recipes” and “More Fa­vorite Recipes by Dear Abby.” Send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $14 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Cook­book­let Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. (Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.)

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